Changes

Greetings!

 I am once again sitting in a coffee-shop that offers free wifi that my laptop will recognize... and my brain is tired of job-hunting... So I bethought myself to post a blog posting... and here we are.

I believe an update is in order, but I've never liked writing things like updates, so I will try to tell my tale in brief... like that ever happens... ;)

My last writing was sometime shortly after moving into my new apartment in the heart of Minneapolis. It was cozy, delightful, wonderful, and I very much enjoyed my time there. The summer was sweltering, the people were interesting, the area was happening, and I had a clawfoot bathtub and a closet that led to Narnia. I enjoyed 6 months in my abode and made it my home.

It was wonderful.

However, winter was coming, parking was only going to get harder to come by, and and uneasy restlessness was growing. Add to that my long-distance relationship with the then-boyfriend and the huge distance from family & friends, the dayjob situation growing less & less profitable, the harassment of mice & bedbugs, my last show on the docket was drawing to a close, and God seemed to be saying something.

Then my car got towed. Again.

The 30 minute walk to the impound lot to pay over $150 to ransom my vehicle back from a man that smirked at my dilemma led to a bit of an epiphany. I had to wonder: what was I doing? Is this really where God wanted me? I had already had several people tell me perhaps it was time to move...

I made the sudden decision to do so, posthaste, before God decided to reach for the proverbial 2x4. The date was October 30th, if I recall rightly. Within 2 days I had all the resources needed, plans were made, and a place for me to move into was at the ready. All I had left to do was close The Hobbit (my last, and best show in Minneapolis), quit my job, go on a roadtrip to meet the Boyfriend's family for Thanksgiving, drive back to Minneapolis, load the moving truck, and drive to Illinois.

I submitted my resignation at work and all were very gracious about it. There are many people there that I will miss.

Then I made the drive to Illinois to meet Boyfriend for the drive to Louisiana. We had a few days together before we made the trek, so we enjoyed the unexpected weekend together... And the Sunday before Thanksgiving, Boyfriend popped The Question while waving shiny in front of my face. I said Yes, and he is now Fiancee. :) We're very happy, & I'll write more about that in a later post I promise! (Like I could avoid talking about it anyway... :P)

So we went to Louisiana to see family with his ring on my finger--we had a delightful time, I love them, they love me, and heartily approved of the match. ;) On our way back up we took a detour into Tennessee to visit some college friends of mine that I hadn't seen in far too long, then continued back through Metropolis & made our way back to Illinois.

I remained for a day or two, then Mum & I drove back to Minneapolis, packed all my belongings into boxes, loaded the truck, and said goodbye to the friends I had made during my 1.5 years there, and drove back.

So yeah. Now I reside in Central Illinois once more, and am busily job-hunting & wedding planning. ... That's the update for now. Thank you all for reading! :) Talk to ya more soon!

Don't get mauled by bears!

Let's try this again...

Aha! I discovered an amazing and awesome discovery!! Welcome to witnessing history, folks! This is the first time I have ever written a blog post on my phone. Having a laptop with an outdated wireless card is so very irritating. :P So yeah, updating on life, let's see how much I can stand to type like this before my patience wears out, shall we? Apparently not much, my phone is already getting angsty. :( if I'm absent for a while, know I will make it up in pre-written posts which will find their way online somehow... So for now, have fun, and poke a platypus!

My laptop is too old to connect to the interwebs, & my smart phone is being stupid. I'll post an update about it all tomorrow. :P

"Less Haste More Speed..."

The above is a quote from one of Brian Jacques books, may the man never be forgotten.

Hello Again! I missed this over the weekend, but I did write down several stories for you... I have less than an hour to write them all in, think I can do it? I'll try...

I know I know I know... "Do or do not, there is no try!" Fine, will do.

First off, can I just say how excited I am to be going to a rehearsal tonight! And as an ACTOR!!! Yes, I'm pumped, if you happen by the Minneapolis Fringe Festival next month you need to come see "Behind the Big Top", because it's going to be a blast!

M'kay, now for the stories!

Saturday was fun, I pulled an 11 hour shift at Planet Pillow (code name for the place I work, courtesy of one Irish Poet...), and the number of people I talked to/at that day does not bear repeating... but I wrote down one particular caller that day that made an impact...

The lady I spoke to had a very dry sense of humour. I'm not just talking about "I'm thirsty" dry, I'm talking "Sahara desert hasn't had rain in 6 months" dry. She also spoke extremely slowly, and every time I asked her a question she would take a good 10 second pause before answering (I know 10 seconds doesn't sound like a lot, but time it out next time you're having a conversation with someone & just feel the silence between responses, it's forever!). Between the way she talked and the "jokes" she told, I was half-convinced she was a prank caller and I almost hung up on her!

Yes, she told "jokes". One of her first ones was "I'm buying this as a gift for my husband I just married 2 days ago. It's our 46th anniversary on Monday." Granted, given proper delivery, this could've been funny, but the way she said it just left me confused... She followed a lengthy pause after this joke with "that was a joke." ... I feebly laughed, then moved on. A few of her other jokes included "Is this pillow approved for smothering?" "Well, my husband is supposed to take me out for dinner next week, I should keep him around at least that long", and "He snores so loud I want to put the pillow on his face--I could say he was sleeping face-down"... I wondered if I should call back & try to warn the husband...

Moral of the story: If you have to tell the person you're conversing with that you made a joke more than 3 times, perhaps you should stop making them...

There's a guy at work, we'll call him Mike. Mike is known as something of a talker--and by that I mean he never seems to stop talking. But it's not even like he's necessarily trying to learn about other people or network or even carry on a conversation. Mike just seems to enjoy the sound of his own voice. Have you ever met a person like that? No matter what you say in the conversation, he just carries on with whatever story he was telling prior to your interjection. And if you were previously enjoying a two-way chat with someone else? He doesn't mind, he'll just jump in with whatever story pops into his head and take off, derailing all talk and hijacking the discussion to take it wherever he wills.

Mind you, this can be rather entertaining sometimes. I like making a game out of it... wicked, I know, but Sunday I had a 10 hour shift & Mike showed up for the last 2 hours... Sunday was slow, I had to entertain myself somehow... ;)

Speaking of entertaining, there's a gal at work, let's see... I'll call her Erin. She's a cool person & has made going in to work a lot more fun, especially on slow days. We dubbed the area around our cubicles "the Valley of Whispers" and every time a supervisor/manager walked through we would whisper-yell their name at them until they made it through our area... Several started taking the long way around just to avoid us... Again, it was Sunday, the call volume was down, and we had to entertain ourselves somehow... ;)

Ah! Running out of time! I may have to write more of these tomorrow. :( Ah well, I shan't lack for material on the morrow.

In the meantime, don't make sad jokes, and listen when you have a conversation with others. Also: is the comment button still working? I dunno, but if you want to check it out for me, I'd be obliged. ;) Laters!

Regrets

Holy cow, I actually intend to write about the title of this post too... This is getting serious now, folks, better watch out... ;)

But not yet, first: and apology in advance.

I have been so gratified to find that views are up on this blog! Woot! People actually want to read this, what?! Crazy-talk. But for you who have been reading please don't get too discouraged in the coming two days when I shan't be able to post. I'm pulling extra shifts at the pillow place and will not be making it home 'till after the wifi is fled. Just a head's-up, but no fear! Regular writing will resume on Monday. :) Thank you tons for your readerness!

Now, where were we?

Italian sodas are a lot less exciting sans chocolate chip cookies. Yes, that's right, I just used "sans" in a sentence... correctly... boom.

Why do you read this again? Not that I'm not gratified, but wow... :S

I was struck today by how woefully behind I am in keeping up on the lives of my friends. My list of people to call is reaching ridiculous proportions, and only getting longer... I wish I knew how to play this game better... (not the one you just lost, that other one...) Friends of mine are getting married, having babies, directing shows, finding significant others, pursuing degrees, and... well... living life. But I can't be there with them at the moment, I'm up here in Minnesota--and while I love it up here, I can't help but wish I were closer to these friends of mine so I could be living life with them.

But such a wish is futile--when my friends are so very scattered. How do I live closer to the friend in California without removing myself from the friends in Detroit and Chicago? How do I get closer to them without leaving behind the friends in Minneapolis? There's no way around it, I just need to get better at this whole long-distance thing... and I need to figure out a way to better afford more roadtrips...

When I was a kid I used to wish that I could buy an apartment building somewhere, move in, and move all of my friends and family in with me. Then everyone I knew would know & love everyone else I knew and we would all live within an elevator's ride of each other. Yes, I know it's impractical--I knew that at the age of 6 when I concocted the scheme--but it still sounds delightful. Aren't the most cherished dreams often the least achievable?

Regrets. I have often had cause to regret not calling someone, or emailing them, or sending a letter or a text or a message. But I have never had cause to regret reaching out to someone. Even if I was hurt by the person I reached out to, the pain was of the lesser kind that I recognize will fade over time & be overshadowed by the good memories.

The pain of being hurt by someone I reached out to is far, far more bearable than the pain of hurting someone I love through neglect. Yes, I've done both, I've been on both ends, and I know which I prefer.

There is in our culture today an idea that time is precious. I would agree with that, there is a limited supply and it's a non-renewable resource. But I notice a disturbing trend resulting from this idea. The thought that my time is precious and I should only spend it on things & people that are worth that time. I should not "waste" time by spending it on people who do not recognize the worth of my time.

I have a couple of problems with this idea. One: as a Christian, "my" time does not exist. I have given everything I am & have over to God and am merely a steward of what He has chosen to entrust to me. In that respect, I don't actually have any time. It all belongs to Someone Else.

In that respect though, I am instructed to be a good steward of all the resources given to me. I have been given much, so much is expected and I have a reputation that is not my own that I need to maintain. In this fashion, I should guard my time and use it wisely.

But what does that look like? I have said it before & will say it again: My lasting regrets in this life have never come from spending time with someone--regardless of whether they recognized its worth. I might regret it for a time, but such an act is not something I look back on years later and still sigh over.

No, my lasting regrets come from not spending time with people.

Granted, this means there's a line to walk. There are so many people in this world, how can we ever spend time with all of them?! And even if we only spread ourselves thin between our loved ones, there may still be a good many of them--how to accomplish this?

Heck if I know. I never said I knew what to do about this!

What do you think this is, an advice column?? Jeesh...

Sorry, brief digression, just in case you forgot where you were... ;)

Regrets are strange. I'm sure you've heard it said "live with no regrets!" but how is that possible? I know it is, I've seen it happen. My great-grandmother said she had no regrets about her life.

But have I already screwed up my chance to live that way because I've already done things I do regret?

Or is it something else. Is living with no regrets more of an attitude toward failure? Is it instead regarding each act that could be regretted as an opportunity for growth instead? Instead of wallowing in guilt, if I could look my failures square in the face, acknowledge them for what they are, embrace them as a teacher and friend, then move on with my life--could that take the regret out of such actions? I like to think so.

When stage managing, there's a mantra (there's lots of them, but that's beside the point) I find myself particularly fond of. It applies to miscalling a cue, especially in the midst of the show. I can't allow myself to wallow in guilt over the mistakes made, if I do I'll lose focus and the mistakes will snowball. Instead, make note of the mistake (be it mentally or in writing if there's time), and move on to the next cue. Learn from the miscall, and don't mess it up next time.

It seems to me that attitude could serve quite well for the rest of life in general as well.

And with that thought, I'm off. Have a great weekend!

Smoke Detectors

This post could get weird, bear with me though--I think I might actually have a thought worth getting out for once!

For the last couple of days the weather here in Minnesota has been pretty amazingly tropical. Tuesday we reached over 100 degrees F (that F might stand for more than one word... just sayin'...) and we had 80% humidity. It was epic, but I was determined to use as little electricity as possible--no window air conditioner, and I had stubbornly refused to turn on the ceiling fan, contenting myself with merely throwing open all the windows & downing huge amounts of water...

Then the smoke detector started going off.

That's right, the title actually has something to do with this post too! I might be getting the hang of this whole titling thingummy...

But anyway, the smoke alarm went off. I was much perturbed, there was no way I was getting carbon monoxide poisoning (did I mention all the windows were open?), I couldn't smell any traces of smoke, let alone enough to set off the alarm (asthmatics have a pretty keen sense of these things...). My next guess was that the battery must be dying.

Following my hunch in the midst of the teeth-rattlingly pierce screams that were emitting from this fiendish device was not as simple as it sounded. I first had to find a chair that was tall enough for me to be able to read the miniscule camouflaged writing on the thing, then one that I could actually manipulate it from atop. Once I did that, I had to discover how to take this contraption off the ceiling, all while trying not to give into my impulse to just take a mallet to the whole thing to get it to shut up--because though I did find the "shut up button" (idk what it's really called, but that's what it became in my head...), it took me a while to figure out that while 1 push means "shut up", 2 means "scream more" and 3 means "scream louder". That was exciting to discover...

Once I finally managed to wrest the thing from the ceiling I realized that the problem couldn't be the battery... At least, I really really hope not, because it's hard-wired into the ceiling...

Only one option seemed left. I had heard of such things happening, but never actually witnessed it myself. Could it be possible? Apparently...

The humidity in my apartment had set off the smoke detector.

I conceded defeat to the weather, and finally turned on my ceiling fan, but to no avail. For the next couple of days I found myself periodically plagued by this thing, hoping in vain that the humidity would break, that the fan would keep the thing happy, that maybe--maybe--I'd be able to get the freaking demonic plastic nightmare from hell to shut up for the last four hours I was alotted to spend in bed before work.

No such luck.

Sooo, yeah... filed a work report with maintenance... Hopefully my neighbors will forgive me (I know for a fact I'm not the only one who's been having this trouble...).

But while thinking on something to write about today, I was reminded of an old friend I wish I could talk to & thought to myself: "There's an excellent object lesson to be learned here..."

Forgive me if this tires you, but I'm about to indulge in a (possibly ludicrous) metaphor. Maybe it's an allegory. I dunno yet, we'll hafta find out together...

Suppose that friends & family, and I'm talking about the close kind here, not just your casual "I see you once a week at the gym and we say hi" acquaintance--suppose we are a sort of smoke detector/alarm for each other. In our true and proper function, isn't that supposed to be how the Church works? We help each other out, we alert each other to danger both without and within ourselves--at its best, that is how the Church should function.

But suppose something goes wrong. Suppose we become terrible at communicating, and find ourselves unable to tell each other what we mean. Suppose we become so obsessed with appearances that we forget what we are supposed to be warning each other of and become simply an annoying shriek leaving others scrambling to shut us up.

On the flip side, suppose the problem someone is warning us about is something we don't want to hear. Suppose they are trying to tell us about one problem, but we don't think that's something that needs fixing right now, or we think it can wait, or we think we have everything under control and why don't they mind their own business? It's not until later when we wake up with a headache that we discover "oh, perhaps they were warning us of a legitimate problem".

Suppose the problem isn't necessarily independent of the smoke detector and the hapless victim of its shrieking, perhaps there's a problem between the two parties. Perhaps the breakdown of communication can only be manifest in pain, and that's the only way either party will admit that there's something wrong & becomes willing to do something to fix it.

Anyhoo, closing coffee shop. I'm off to hopefully not have to listen to Shrieky... we'll see.

Wave at strangers. Maybe they're not so strange after all... ;)

Happy Independence Day!

Alas, the coffee-shop is about to close--they're closing early today due to the holiday. So I'm going back to my apt. to write some non-bloggy stuff & maybe unpack... I may run away to the air-conditioned haven of the Fancy French Store later today...

In the meantime, happy 4th!

Scribbling...

I got a haircut today.

...

Yeah, that's ... um ... kind of how my brain is working right now. I'm trying to string words together, but that's all I got.

Lol, alright, time for a quick character sketch! :)

There's a man that I've seen in the neighborhood twice now. I think of him as "the beautiful man", not because he's eyecandy (that's Boyfriend...;), but because he's one of those people who is beautiful on the inside and it doesn't matter what he looks like.

On the outside, the Beautiful Man is a rather grizzled type, the term "weathered" comes to mind. He appears to be in his late fifties, maybe to mid-sixties, but it's a sixties that has seen a hard life--y'know what I mean? He's of African descent, about 5'8", and wiry in build. He wears no facial hair, and a ball cap.

I first met him when I was walking home from the Boiler Room (if you go there, you should tell them you heard about them from this blog & you'll blow their minds!), I was going one way on the sidewalk & he was walking toward me whilst talking on his cell phone. When we drew about level he took his cell phone away from his face, and spoke from the diaphragm.

"Well, look at you! Beautiful lady on a beautiful day, and you are beautiful! I hope you have a great day!"

The man caught me flat-footed--what do you say to that?! I ducked my head, smiled, and stammered out a thank you and a laugh. We both walked on in our respective directions, but I glanced over my shoulder at the same time as he did & we made eye contact.

"I mean it too, you are beautiful!"

But the way he said it, he wasn't creepy or anything. He was genuine, sincere, and honest in bearing and voice. He didn't undress me with his eyes, he give me "the up-down", he spoke to my face.

It was very refreshing and kind of made my day.

I met the Beautiful Man again a day or two later. He was across the street this time, with a shopping bag over his shoulder. I almost missed him, but I glanced over and we made eye contact. His smile was sunshine and he waved "hey, look it's you!"

My reply was a laughing "I remember you!"

"How are ya?" he asked.

There followed a brief but friendly conversation, cementing him in my mind as the Beautiful Man. I would love to hear his story sometime!

Encounters like this make me love where I live all the more. At the same time, people like the Beautiful Man can be found everywhere--and where they aren't found, they can be inspired.

It's amazing, really, how just a simple conversation like that can stick with a person for ... well, forever. Think back on your life, on random encounters you've had with complete strangers in the store, in church, school, after class, at work, walking down the street. How many of these conversations encouraged you, or tore you down? How much of an impact did they make on your life? What did you do differently because of these conversations?

Personally, after meeting the Beautiful Man, I walked with my head held a little higher... But I also started thinking differently about the people around me.

One of the pieces of advice I read as a rookie stage manager was "if complements and terms of endearment don't come naturally to you, make them happen anyway". The idea was that artists tend to create better when they feel good about themselves, and something as simple as a "Hello beautiful, I love the outfit today!" can make a person feel so much more confident and creative. But the concept holds true for all people really...

How many people do I pass every day who are hovering on the edge of despair, and one word from a stranger can bring them back from the brink? More than any would be willing to admit, I'd guess. And how easy is it to show an honest admiration for them?

I used to be terribly shy and afraid of interacting with strangers. How far God has brought me--I've actually been labeled as "outgoing"--and the label fits! How weird is that? But I still want to strive to make sure every word I speak is filled with purpose and meaning.

I acted in a Beckett play once, and was very much impressed with his sparing use of words. I read the script several times and dissected every line, looking for the meaning in each word. In that research I discovered so many nuances to what he wrote--every word and pause seemed laden with meaning, I grew convinced that there was not a single extra comma in that script. Whether my assessment was correct or not, it inspired me to try to live so not a single word was wasted in my living.

Granted, this blog does seem to be the exception to that striving... I consider that rule to be applicable mostly to finished products... ;) 

Wrong Numbers

Sunday night was auditions for The Hobbit!!!

:D

I'm rather excited... it felt extremely gratifying to be in the audition room on the acting side of things again... Also, I think it went alright. I found out that a half-ocelot Gollum actually works out rather well... ;)

One of the rather entertaining aspects of these auditions was getting to sit out in the hallway & watch my fellow auditionees react when they were told: "Here, you'll read these sides, do some movement, and then tell a joke." To a person, each of them reacted with some variation of surprise & dismay--tempered with relief when they saw that jokes had been provided for them if they happened to not have any in their repertoire...

I had jokes... mwahaha... I ended up using a string of knock-knock jokes (no bananas entered into the conversation...), but there were several I carefully considered before choosing that particular series... Maybe I'll tell them to ya sometime ;D

Today at the pillow-place was kind of entertaining. It was slower than yesterday (thankfully!!!), so my fellow phone-answerers & I had time to swap stories a bit. One of the more hilarious parts of our day tends to be the wrong numbers...

That's right, for once the title of this post might actually have something to do with a smidge of the content!! Is that allowed? I dunno, but we'll find out...

Anyhoo, wrong numbers. Today I answered the phone with a cheery "Hello! Thank you for calling (company name), this is (my name)--how may I help you?" The wizened old lady (in my imagination at least) launched right into her tirade with a "I've been buying your vinegar for seven years now, I'm in Arizona and have been sending you checks for your vinegar--" and so forth.

Did I mention we sell pillows? I have no idea how this lady managed to buy vinegar from us, that's a rather neat trick...

I politely told her of my suspicions that she might have the wrong number, only to met with a "what?" So I repeated myself, and was met with deafening silence, and a small click. Sounds like someone was embarrassed...

Another call today was from a gentleman in Michigan, he was trying to locate the Forest somethingorother--it sounded very martial & foresty, which made for a strange combination. However, we were both rather confused, because his first question was not "who is this?" it was "where are you located?" Not the usual first question of a caller, I admit (that's usually "how much do they cost???"), but not irregular. So I told him we were in Minnesota, and he sounded confused, but began telling me about his attempt to locate a "local branch"... which made me confused. So I asked him what his question seemed to be & he told me he was having some trouble with his fireworks.

I mean, really? I wanted to keep him on the line & find out what kind of problems, but fireworks being what they are I thought the safest course of action would be to get him the help he needed as soon as possible! I informed him of my hunch, told him what we sold, and had a good hearty laugh with him before he hung up.

I wish I could help him with fireworks.

For a while at work we were having problems with a certain drugstore constantly transferring people to us. It got to the point that we could tell just by looking at the number prefacing the caller id if the caller was going to be a wrong number or not... If they were bright they would hear us answer with the pillow bit & just hang up. Some of the deafer sort would launch into a tirade about their insurance, medication, paychecks, or what have you and we'd have to interrupt them to break the bad news to them. It was kind of surprising once or twice how terribly people took it to heart, and how angry they would get with us for not being the people they were trying to reach! I actually had a woman chew me out for not being the person she was supposed to be transferred to--on the upside, that was when I got an inkling of why all those people were wrong numbers...

I was yelled at once for not being the Department of Defense too... The man was very offended that I had the gall to answer the number listed under the Dept of Defense and not be them--he was not capable of misdialing, you understand. ;)

But anyhoo, I hafta run. Thank the people who answer your phone call--whether you meant to call them or not!

Quick Like a Bunny!!

Did you know: A chocolate latte has a special name... it's called a mocha! :) The barista taught me that one today, I like it.

Unfortunately, while I remembered to tell the nice lady that I wanted a latte, rice milk, and a shot o' chocolate, I neglected to tell her that I wanted it iced... (it's ninety-freakin'-seven degrees outside & humid, I forgot such a thing as hot drinks were permitted in such circumstances!) Soooo.... Yeah, I didn't remember until I saw her creating an awesome feather on top of my steaming hot mocha that was being served in a mug instead of in the tall glass I was expecting... my face fell, because the concoction she had, well, concocted... looked amazing and extremely tasty... and hot. I think my distress was evident, because she knew something was up. I confessed my folly, and she insisted on making me another, iced, mocha for free. Then she insisted that I take both drinks, because I needed to experience the fantabulousness that was both the hot & the iced mochas.

So I did, and both mochas were phenomenal. ("Duh", the barista just told me...) Have I mentioned how much I love this place? I love it here!

Something I've been meaning to write about for a while, but never seemed to remember when sitting in front of the lappy before: there is an irony I've found in human nature that needs to be remarked upon. Actually, there's lots of them, but there's one in particular that has amused me for a few weeks now.

At my dayjob we deal with a lot of personal information gathered from complete strangers in order that we might send them the pillows they so ardently desire. Some of the personal information we collect is as follows:
First and last names.
Email addresses.
Phone numbers
Street addresses
Cities of residence
States of residence (or provinces for our Canadian customers)
Zip (postal) codes
Type of credit/debit cards
Credit/debit numbers
"" Expiration dates
Card Verification numbers

Now, of all of the above, which would you feel the most edgy about telling a complete stranger whose face you've never seen?

Oddly enough, it usually isn't any of the last four items listed above.

Would you believe that the most often refused piece of information I encounter is the email address??? Second is the phone number, and then comes the people who get tetchy about sharing their credit information.

People are more wary of spam than they are of being robbed blind.

Seriously?! Come on, priorities people!!! I have had to talk to possibly ten times more people about the company's no-spamming policy than I have about the security measures we have in place to safe-guard the credit card information people give us.

Not that any of the information our customers give us isn't safe, but honestly... It's disturbing to realize how trusting people are with their moneys, who are deeply mistrustful with their email accounts.

Email is free, folks. It takes little to no time to change that.

Oh psychology. We are more afraid of inconvenience than of losing our identity. Who knew?

One more thing, then I hafta close up shop... since the Boiler Room is about to do the same.

I have an ATM from my bank that is a mere 5 minutes' walk away!!!! It's in a CVS, and I stumbled onto it by pure accident.

I love living in the city!!!! :D

And I think the two mochas' worth of caffeine is beginning to make itself felt... I should go consume something...

Later folks! Tell a stranger they're beautiful, you just might make their day. ;)

Lemon Poppyseed Muffins

They're soooo tasty! You should try some!

I have a question that has been bugging me lately, and it might sound like utter nonsense, but that's my brain for ya...

What would happen if I water my bamboo shoot with almond milk?

Would that provide extra nutrients? Would it thrive & start growing at a ferocious pace? Or would that be like plantish cannibalism? Would it die of mortification? Would that be too thick a substance for it to digest the nutrients from? I really am becoming consumed with curiosity about this--so much so that I am sorely tempted to try it, just to see what happens.

But I don't want to kill my bamboo... :(

I'm going to google the question, just to see if anyone else out there has ever had this question & posted it online...

So the first search result was "101 Ways to Prepare Matcha Tea, Matcha Green Tea Lattes, and..." followed by "You'll Never Buy Almond Milk in a Box Again!" and "Rapunzel's Adventures"...

Maybe I should re-word the question...

"Can bamboo be watered with almond milk?"  led me to an interview with the vegan police, "Cat grass is Kat grass" and other unrelated topics... But if I drop the almond out of the question now we're getting somewhere... (oddly enough...)

Huh, so watered-down cow's milk is apparently a decent fertilizer when used sparingly... I may hafta try almond milk just to see. My poor bamboo has been getting pale, and I think some extra nutrients could shake things up in a good way... hopefully... maybe? :S

Wow, that was quite the tangent...

Tonight I'm going to see a good friend of mine in a show called "Human Combat Chess", and yes, I'm so very excited about it! It's a chess game played between live people instead of with pieces--every time a space is contested there's a one-on-one battle that throws down. I'm very excited to be going & seeing Mer in this awesome-sounding show! If you're in the area, you should seriously come!

Yeah, that's my brief plug about what I'll be doing this evening... I'm really going to have to start jotting down the ideas I get throughout the day about "hey, that would be cool to write on your blog!".... Because I'm getting tired of making it here & finding myself with nothing to write about...

Last night I (finally) got around to setting up my coffee station! I don't have enough counterspace to hold more than the microwave, so I was at a loss as to what to do with my coffeepot until I epiphanized that I don't need to keep the coffee confined to the kitchen! So I proceeded to set up a small wheeled tray/table/thing with the coffee, pot, filters, mugs, spoon, and fixings, add a small chair next to said tablish contraption, and boom! It's a tight little coffee wayplace! :D I woke this morning, pushed the power button, took a shower, then I came out and enjoyed my very own coffee that I didn't have to pay for! Woot!!

Not if only I could manage that portable breakfast sammich, I might be able to stop paying Subway for morning sustenance... Alas, thus far my breakfast sammiches are very tasty, but also extremely messy. :S Maybe if I ditch the tomato... That might help... I'll try that for lunch today & see if it makes a difference...

Speaking of lunch, I'm actually getting rather hungry, so I believe I'll call this a post & see ya later. Bye all, enjoy the weather!! :)

Fundraisers!

Last night was the fundraiser for the coming show by Green T Production's coming show: The Hobbit. It was so much fun! There was a silent auction, a variety show, a demonstration, food, fun, and people of all sorts! :) The silent auction was cool, there were artist-created fans donated to help raise moneys for the cause & I donated two. Here's pictures!

 Yay pictures! I meant to take pictures of the other fans as well but got completely distracted... So now I get to look all egocentric... :S "You only get to see mine! That's all that's important! So there!!" That's totally what I was thinking... *sarcasm*

Now I'm left wondering what else to write about. I keep getting distracted by how cold it is in here--there's a breeze blowing indoors! What's going on?! Aw snap, I just finished my drink, here's hoping they don't kick me out... lol...

Anyhoo, I was bending my mind towards trying to write something worth reading, that's right... My mind just seems filled with so many mundane happenings right now. "Fruit's on sale at rainbow." "I need to get that tail-light on the car fixed." "Why is it so cold in here?!?!" "Hmmm, dinners, what will it be?" "Budgeting, mer." "Unpacking, more mer." "Book! I'm reading one! Yay!" "I should call Mum..."

I think you get the idea. It's really rather amazing sometimes that I can even write a complete sentence without wandering off into lala land...

But, unfortunately, today does not seem to be one of those amazing times. So I shall leave you with this thought and go do something more suited to the attitude of the day... something like unpacking... ;)

If sleep is a shade of death, and the dreams we dream in sleep are but a shade of those we'll dream in death--yet waking from mere sleep is such a difference, what will it look like when in the resurrection we awake from death itself and wake to truly live, and no more to dream?

Green Bottles

I collect them... apparently?

Sorry for the lack of updates in the last couple of days, it's been a rather busy couple of days. Since my interwebs access is currently rather tied to the hours of this particular awesome coffee shop, any blogosphereing I want to accomplish must needs be done before 8pm. It's good though, it lends an air of discipline to this whole shebang...

So what was I so busy doing that I couldn't make time to visit my friendly neighborhood blogosphere? Well Sunday night ... lol, that's a story I should begin from the start...

My cousin, Cassy, recently became a Mary-Kay consultant. (I call her my dealer, but I figured I'd use the official term... the first time at least...) Her pink party was scheduled for Sunday, June 24th, and as her cousin & friend I wanted to show up and support her (and pick up some concealer, which I was startled to discover I owned none of... that's a different story though...). I usually work Sunday mornings & afternoons until 4, but I jealously guarded that evening--I scheduled auditions for different dates, I shuffled workshop schedules, I delayed seeing people--this was serious & I was committed. The night before the party I carefully combed through my wardrobe trying to find all 10 articles of jewelry & clothing I owned in various shades of pink. I went to bed wondering if that shirt was too purple to qualify as a "dusty rose".

The next morning I woke a little later than intended, but still thought to double-check the time of the party that evening. I scrolled up in the text conversation with my cousin to see what time she had texted me, and upon discovery I let slip several choice profanities...

The party was from 2-4. It had nothing to do with evening. I worked until 4. $h!t.

I shared my dismay with Cassy, and she was very gracious about it. We agreed that I could come by and say hello and hang out (and pick up that concealer...) even if the party wasn't going on still. So I did, and passed a very agreeable evening with the ladies, and was vigorously greeted by the Australian Shepherd--Jinks. Afterwards I did some grocery shopping, and got home at about 9... too late for interwebs.

Monday was more by choice, I had an auditions for a show called A Chaste Maid in Cheapside that I was prepping for, then the audition itself (I still think it probably was awful...), then workshops was happening, and then I got to see & hang out with peoples at Mer's place! She made tasty creations, we played bananagrams, and a good time was had by all. :)

Long story short: I didn't blog because I was busy. So there. ;)

Yesterday at work something happened that made me want to write about it... Soooo, this is me, writing about it...

The day was obnoxiously slow, and most of the guys in the area around me didn't come in, so us gals had an opportunity to chat that we hadn't enjoyed previously. I got to find out some backgrounds, some likes & dislikes, and some personal gossip that I carefully filed away as future character material (always be careful when talking to a writer, you never know what they'll do with your conversations). The girl who sits next to me was of particular interest in her conversations.

For the sake of preserving anonymity, we'll call her Ashley. Ashley grew up in a small town in Minnesota, is one of 6 siblings, refuses to drive anything smaller than a truck or an SUV (after hearing her relate a terrifying accident she was in, I can understand why!), is currently pursuing her degree (gen. studies at the moment), and does not like any ethnic foods except American.

At first blush, my reaction was one of disdain. She is a very classic example of small-town American gal. But the more we talked the more I realized something...

Likes & dislikes, preferences and distastes aside, this young woman is just as complex and intricate a human being as any other. She has her share of stories and history, and she comes by her mindset just as honestly as anyone else--perhaps moreso. What reason has she ever been given to enjoy Mexican cuisine? Why would she want to drive a small car? Of course she got lost in the city and hated it, why would she want to know her way around? I know why I would, but what reason would she have?

The conversation that stands out the most to me though was when we spoke of her studies. She is pursuing her Bachelor's, but for now she is undecided & will probably end up opting for a business degree. I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up.

"Well, I wanted to be a dolphin trainer when I was a kid."

But to be a dolphin trainer, she realized, she would have to pursue a much more intensive route of studies & training--one she apparently had no hope/desire to complete. So she abandoned that dream and left it behind her.

I never did find out what she decided to do with her life instead.

I wonder, if my parents hadn't encouraged me to always be willing to try something new, to dream big and chase dreams I treasure, to never allow fear to rule my life, to consider other points of view as being just as valid as my own--if they had not done all this and more, how different from Ashley would I be?

What right do I have to be proud of my own take on life? What did I actually do to get myself here? So much of who I am is thanks to the time and effort put forth by others, why should I take pride in such a work? Rather, I should try to make them proud of the work they have wrought--and try to work the same in the lives of other people.

There's the deep thought for the day. Now, if you will excuse me, I have other things to accomplish today as well. Laters!!

Coffee...

I don't know if any of you have noticed, but one of the addictions I battle (or love, alternately...) is caffeine--especially in it's most luscious form: chocolate coffee.

Everynow (that was initially a typo, but I think I like that... I'll leave it that way for now & see what ya think...) and again I'll go through a stint of "Ohmygoodness, it can't be healthy to have this high a caffeine intake! I'm weaning myself off coffee for good!!!"

It usually lasts about a week. I'll slowly stop drinking multiple caffeinated beverages (Dr. Pepper... Mmmmmm...) a day, then I'll be down to one or two every other day, maybe I'll even make it down to a couple a week. Caffeine becomes more of a treat than a need, and I can (mostly) stay awake at work in the morning without such crutches.

Then it happens. I find a coffee shop & think "I'll only drink an occasional coffee drink, I'll mix it up with Italian Sodas & stuff like that too." Then I stay up late the night before an early morning at work and think "I had a hard time staying awake when I had enough sleep, I better grab a coffee!" But just a small cup, and--oops, too much sugar! My bad...

Next thing I know I'm back up to 2 drinks a day, and making plans to set up a coffee station in my own apartment!!! And--gasp!!--I'm not even feeling guilty about it!! I'm thinking "clever me, saving moneys by making coffee myself!"

Shame shame shame...

Ah well, I'll save the guilt for my next spree of self-deprivation. ;)

Speaking of coffee, I found the coolest disposable coffee cup today!! I actually broke and got a small coffee with breakfast instead of my usual mere (but tasty) orange juice (yes, the monologue above actually happened...), and the lid on the cup was awesome!! It had a slidy thing to close off the opening to the coffee-dispensing mouth hole thing... Yeah, it doesn't sound as cool when I try to write about it as it did upon discovery this morning (was it the sleeplessness talking? or the sugar? Probably...)... I'll hafta take a picture and show you all tomorrow. Also, the cup itself was rather more durable than your average styrofoam--those recycled cups are amazing!! I'm totally imitating my Dad & saving that cup to reuse in future... at least until I unpack enough to find my own travel mugs... (if you're wondering why that would irritate Dad, go read that word again... am I the only one who thinks those words look scary similar in this font?)

I intended to write about something other than coffee today, but for the life of me I'm having difficulty remembering what that was... :S Give me a bit, maybe I'll think of it again...

Oh yeah! Church last night! I promised a report on that!!

Yeah, it was frightening... Not to say that the church itself wasn't very nice (it was), friendly (I was greeted multiple times by many people), warm (delightfully), doctrinally sound (I think? The songs were pretty & fun to sing), and beautiful (the vaulted roof! the stained-glass windows! The GOBOS!! they had fraking GOBOS!!!!)... but... well, most importantly it didn't feel like home. If you've been in the position to have to find a new church before you probably know what I'm talking about, but this church simply didn't... Let's just say that it doesn't matter how "right" the church is, if God doesn't tap me on the shoulder when I sit down and say "this is where I want you dwelling", then it isn't the church home for me.

Also? There were soooo many babies...

Don't misunderstand me, small children can be delightful--but small children in that high a concentration? There were soooooooo many!!! Especially considering it was advertised as being a church that catered to college-age, singles, and young couples. My thought was "yeah, you cater all right!"

It reminded me of a book I read about the way the Church views singles groups... It's simply a means to an end...

I know I know I know, I'm not technically "single" anymore now that Boyfriend is in my life. I do still identify rather strongly with that group though--what with Boyfriend being several states away and all. Our relationship is delightful, but I am so not in the same stage of life as all those young mothers are... especially the ones with 5 kids under the age of 10...

I mean, heck, I may never get to that stage...

And those are the only people who spoke to me when I was at the church. I asked a young mother & her "brood" (the oldest of whom was the first to be born into the church) where it was okay to park, I was greeted upon entry by a young couple and their 4 adorable blond children, I was introduced to the movie-director's (for worship services) wife who's husband was coming with their two young children (and she had another on the way), I was introduced before the service to another young mom (she had to talk to the mom sitting beside me about the "Hot Mamas" meeting that may or may not be happening this Sunday...), and spoke after the service to another young mother who was involved with the house church & was going to learn to speak Chinese in Chicago (her kids were downstairs & she had to leave to pick them up). I was also shown the "fireside room" where the moms took their kids to settle down if they got too fussy during the service--it was very nicely furnished with a fireside, chairs, tables, a projector (for listening/viewing the service you were missing because of your offspring), and a corner screened off from view (yes, probably for breastfeeding mothers--I mean, for mothers breastfeeding their children... no, I didn't ask).

It's not like I didn't see plenty of people my own age, or single, or probably in college... I just didn't actually get to talk to any of them. I'm not sure if it was because none of them noticed a new person (I find that hard to believe, considering I was alone just wandering around for some time and saw several of them...), or maybe they saw me get mobbed by the mothers & backed away slowly...

But, to their credit, the moms & dads were very nice and sociable. It just felt rather... strange... I felt very ... young isn't quite the word I'm looking for but it's close... Alien? Different? In a whole other sphere? :S It was strange realizing that I may actually not be that far in age from people with such utterly other life experiences... and then I realized that we weren't really that other.

Maybe it's the part of myself that still hasn't (and maybe never will) grown up... but I really don't feel like I could have children right now. I mean, obviously I could, but I don't think I would want to right now.

Bah, kids.

But yeah, the church was rather frightening.

I think I'm going to go post this now, before I ramble on more & come up with more strange nonsense... besides, I have laundry to do, dishes to wash, a painting corner to tidy, and boxes/tubs to unpack... So many things to do! :D I'm excited... ;)

Also, hello Mr. A. Lane R number 3. Yes, I know you're there, and I'm watching you. Behave yourself, and in a goodly fashion, or I will know. You know who you are. And if you don't, you're probably not who I'm talking to. But if you do, watch yourself. ... yeah ...

I get distracted so easily...

So... y'know what's entertaining? looking at the stats for this blog... Apparently this blog has been viewed from Thailand... wow!!! I had no idea! ... ? And once again I'm derailed... where was I going with this post again? Aw man, I think we're lost... ;)

I finally branched out & tried something new at the Boiler Room today: a mango-raspberry Italian Soda--it's rather tasty! :) I may have thrown off the barista though, oops... ;D

I'm also going to try out a church today--it's called "The Rock" & it meets on Friday nights. I'll let ya know later how it goes...

Aaaah, scatterbrainedness... I swear I was sane once upon a time...

Ah well, my apologies you poor readers. It's an extremely short post today. I'm off to finish my Italian Soda & go find this church type thingummy... I want to get there early (for parking) and need to leave myself extra time to get there (for getting lost). So ... yeah... toodles!

And now with screen so blank before me...

I find my mind mirroring the blankness of the screen... This will never do!

'Scuse me for a moment folks, inspiration just tried to run over me & I need to go tend my wounds...

Snap, I love/hate it when this happens... I had a blog post all planned out, but I had to go and eavesdrop on a conversation & now all my thoughts are scattered by a chance word spoken that inspires a whole new plotline...

Picture this: an improv performance in a coffee shop, an alley theatre set-up, even the barista behind the counter is part of the story. Patrons enter knowing a show will take place, but not realizing that it has started when the actors get up from the midst of the staff, or from the midst of the patrons themselves. Perhaps the actors are even seated at the same tables as the patrons--a truly interactive experience, part scripted, part improvisation.

The actors are three: playing characters of all ages--a man and two women.
The story: that of Theatre itself, disguised (as always) in a multiplicity of allegories & metaphors all taking place in a coffee shop. The actors would step in and out of characters, requiring great flexibility.
The props and costumes would be minimal, if any designated at all. The props could be mimed, the costumes would just be streetclothes typically worn by the actors.
The focus would be on the story and the acting.

Perhaps it would be a story of Humanity instead of Theatre... or of Art, or the Church... Perhaps it could be done with only two actors... or with one, or four.... Perhaps...

This is certainly an idea to pursue...

Wow, well that was fun! ;)

The sun is beginning to get low in the sky. It's about 7:30pm now, the Boiler Room is 30 minutes from closing and the light is slanting at a dramatic angle. It's one of my many favorite times of day...

So ... before I got run over... what was I going to write again??? Ah yes, entertaining anecdotes from work...

I actually lost my patience with a customer today. The man could hardly speak English (I lie, he spoke better English than I speak Spanish, so he spoke passably...) so he had a friend of his inquiring after the pillow for him. However, when the man found out what the current price of our pillow was he grew so irate that he took the phone from his friend and proceeded to (try to) rip me a new one. I remained calm and tried to interject over his tirade that the old price he was given (three weeks ago) still held true, all he had to do was drive to one of our vendors & purchase the pillow instead of buying it over the phone. So I gave him the price he wanted, and he calmed a bit to hand the phone back to his friend. So when his friend asked me what the price of the pillow was I was halfway through my quote (alas! I was on the high half... :P) when the irate gentleman ripped the phone away again and tried to lay into me again. He damaged my calm a bit when he accused me of assuming that "because [I] am from Africa you think I must be an idiot!!"... His words, not mine. I proceeded to inform him warmly that due to our conversation being held via telephone, I actually had no idea that he was from Africa, congratulations, and did he want to hear the REST of what I had to say or did he just want to yell some more? He shut up long enough to hear me out, hand the phone back to his friend, and listen via translator instead.

The man bought no pillows...

But I felt rather proud of myself in that I used no profanity either before or after this conversation... *pat on the back*

Anyhoo... that's all for now. I think M is wanting to close up the shop, so I should begin to vacate the premises. Have fun all, see ya later!

Reality

Hello again!

My thanks for your patience during this last week--you brave & valiant folk who actually read these ramblings of mine... ;) I assure you, the week off was highly beneficial & I return to you all the better for it!

I have been struck over and over again by the realization that I live in a city--a beautiful and large city. and each time the realization brings an awe and delight with it that can hardly grasp. I love living here, getting to meet and talk to so many different people, seeing so many different places all within walking distance, adventure questing in a different direction every time--it's all so exciting!

And the theatre, I'm so happy to be involved in theatre in the acting capacity again! I know you tech friends of mine will sniff in scorn, but I can't help where my passions lie. Just know this: I will never forget the tech side of myself & of theatre... I plan to surprise the crew wherever I act ;)

God is good, life is delicious, my only speck of sorrow is that Boyfriend is so far away. This past week with him was bliss, but I sent him back on the train yesterday morning & feel like I've been ... well, I keep getting surprised by the realization that he's not here anymore. But life moves on, and the dance steps continue whilst the music reels away.

My latte today was extra chocolaty. I do like them like that. :)

I had an audition today for which I used a monologue from Jake's Women by Neil Simon. I was in a student-produced production of this show a few years ago--mine was the character of "Karen", the older sister who was at once the voice of reason & of comic relief. It was entertaining, being the comic relief--something I wasn't used to. I think the audition today went well, but I never am entirely certain when it comes to those things. I think the audition goes well but don't get called back--or I think I bombed the audition & get the part, that tends to be my history with predicting these things. After a while I quit trying. I feel like I honored the story and my teachers today, that's all I care for.

Sooo yeah...

I find that I'm dwelling a lot on what Boyfriend and I did while he was here (not THAT you dirty minds, get back up here in the gutter & out of the sewer!).

Wednesday: After work I went home & tried to focus on unpacking and straightening up until I could go pick him up at the train station. His train wasn't due to get in until 10:31 (oddly specific, I know), but I couldn't stand myself anymore & drove over there around 9:50. By the time his train got in I was pacing & ready to run somebody over if they tried to get in the way--but I promise no bystanders were harmed. ;)

Thursday we hung out, unpacked a few boxes, and with the help of a very dear cousin of mine we rearranged my furniture into some semblance of a living space. My bedroom no longer looks like a storage unit & I actually have a usable living room! After our efforts the three of us walked down to JimmyJohn's, ate dinner, and picked up a dozen eggs on the way home.

Friday: We made pancakes! Mind you, I hadn't found my real-person-sized frying pan yet (still haven't actually, I should get on that...), so we made them in my two mini-frying pans (thank you Auntie!!!). Mini-peach-buckwheat pancakes are awesome & between the two of us we demolished all 10. We spent the day lazing around, watching movies, and letting time slip by.

Saturday: I introduced Boyfriend to the very Boiler Room Coffee shop that I'm sitting in now & we enjoyed lunch... Afterwords we ran to the grocery store, picked up essentials, and made chili... well, he made chili...

Are ya bored yet? Sorry if ya are... ;P

Sunday we had lunch at the coffee shop again, then wandered over to the Sculpture gardens, meandered through Loring Park, and got thoroughly soaked when we got caught in the downpour of the afternoon. After we made it back home we recovered from the above-ground swimming session, then headed over to my good friend M's place. We passed a very delightful & often hysterical evening with her & A, playing canasta & bananagrams & generally enjoying the evening, the salsa, and the lemon bars. ;)

Monday we had lunch with one of my big brothers, and then didn't go to the Mall of America. No regrets about that though, we decided to order Caffrey's instead and just stay indoors.

Then the dreaded Tuesday came & I had to see my Boyfriend back to the train station. Now he's back in the land of Lincoln, and I'm wandering around trying not to dwell overmuch on who's not here, but rather on who is going to come again. Also, I'm terribly sorry, but I suck at remembering to take pictures! The only one I got all week was this:

;)

Anyhoo, that's all for now. I'm off to do laundry & unpack... more ... lots more unpacking... Who knew I had so much stuff?!

Mer

I can never write a title until first I've written the post, it just doesn't work like that... :P

Today's the day! I'm so very excited, Boyfriend is coming up to visit me on the train! Woot! ;D So if I seem a bit distracted whilst writing this it's because... I am...


Speaking of, one moment please while I go find out where the train station is... that might be good to know before I actually try to go pick him up... brb.


Whew, there, that's remembered & done... Might've been kinda awful had I forgotten to do that part... Guess what, I'm less than 15 minutes away from the Amtrak station! That's kinda cool...


Today the pillow job was kind of wonderful but terrible all at the same time. Call volume was low & hang-ups were up, which made for a rather depressing sales rate. However, the seating was rearranged so I had more people sitting near me to be able to talk to between calls--I got to discuss the possibility of joining a D&D campaign already in the works... that could be fun... ;) I discovered about midway through the week that all the guys (and a couple of the gals) that I sit near are rather nerdy, so we've had some entertaining conversations since concerning d&d, Star Wars, star trek, Doctor Who, movies, etc. It makes the day interesting...


Le sigh... nothing exciting to write about is coming to mind, so this is when I start storytelling. Bear with me? It could get... interesting...


The people are called by others the Acroni, which means in the old tongue: "Upright Sphinxes." The Acroni had no spoken name for themselves, namely because they did not speak aloud. On their home World all the planet was utterly silent.

Yet the most amazing aspect of the Acroni was not their lack of a voice, but their inspiring eyes. In all other regards these people were utterly unremarkable, but when an Acroni bent their gaze upon any other being it was transfixing. It was as though the Sphinxes of old (who were blind, for their gaze contained all the questions in the Multiverse) walked again and mildly watched the Worlds dance by.


The Acroni were a mild and beautiful people. Having never Fallen, their home was seen as a safe-haven among all the embattled races. They were Healers, and their young ones often made pilgrimages into battle to bring their healing arts to those who needed them most--but they always returned home again when they could.

Whoops, and there's the time. Later all! Drink in the sunshine whilst ya can! 

Air Conditioning

It's really easy to get lost in trying to update this blog... and forget that I was intending to actually write a post... ;) But success! I updated AND am posting new postageness!! Woot!

So yeah, new postageness...

This coffee shop has a really excellent window air-conditioner. I'm kinda resenting it's presence actually, because it's kinda making me wish my latte wasn't the kind with ice in it. It's fracking 90+ degrees outside! WHY AM I SHIVERING?!?!?!  I'm really not that sad about my apartment building not having central air, it seems like that's the only building I walk into that I don't shiver in...

Also, I think I may have a problem. I have been to visit the Boiler Room thrice now, and every time I've ordered the iced latte. The second two times I walked in fully intending to order something else, try something new, that kind of thing. But upon entry I promptly threw such plans out the metaphorical window (I defenestrated them, if you will), and ordered an iced latte instead. I rationalized it to myself, saying I have been denied such joy all my life and am only now discovering it, it's only natural that I should desire to revel for a while, I'll just get one more before trying something new, it's hot outside & that's a tasty cold drink! And besides, I need more calcium, the rice milk is good for me & I'm not really getting that anywhere else in my diet at the moment...

And then I wonder: is this how addictions start? Do I have a problem? Will I ever be able to order anything else here ever? What have I become?? Is there a support group for this kind of thing? Will I become some kind of coffee-shop snob, forever judging places like this based solely on the quality of their iced lattes? Will I never know the joy of the elusive Mango Italian Soda???

Then my rational voice sounds across the confusion (said voice sounds remarkably like Amanda K, by the by...) and reminds me: calm down, it's just a latte. It's not that big a deal.

Does anyone else have conversations like this with themselves??? ... Anyone?? ... Marco?

Before I forget (again) I may not be updating every day for the next week. I'm going to try to update as often as possible, but tomorrow I have a workshop in the evening, and Tuesday I have an audition (!!!), and on Wednesday Boyfriend gets here... After that I have no idea what's happening, I just know I get to spend all week with him and then something else happens after that... I forget what though, I think it's called life or something... ;)


Sometimes I feel like the way my brain sees time is a little strange. I know, theoretically, that time flows in a straight line and progresses in a relatively steady rate, maybe it should look something like this:


---Monday---Tuesday---Wednesday----Next Week------Week After-------Next Month-------Next Year


Or something ish, but my brain tends to think of time more like:


STUFF GETS HERE!! unpacking---workshop---Audition---BOYFRIEND!!---??? meh, don't care right now....


Y'know? I measure time as a series of major and minor events, today has a minor event, there are two minor events happening before the next major event. After the next major event there's some minor events happening, but we'll worry about them then... This way of thinking has been known to get me in trouble before, especially in college when my brain categorized papers & their due dates as "minor events"... oops...


I wonder if they have vegan ice-cream here... I'd be able to eat that... I should really go unpack some, but my apartment is looking kind of daunting right now... Oh my random...


Ah well. I think I may hafta run off for now. That unpacking really should see some progress tonight, since I'll be busy for a while to come. Love to you all! :)

Wandering & Passion

Good grief I'm out of practice at this whole writing thing... Well, no time like the present to remedy that, and the only way I know how is to actually write... Huzzah forced writing! :P

I took a walk today to Target--it's about a 15 minute walk from my new place--and on the way there I saw an older gentleman standing outside an establishment wearing a top-hat and a bright red bowtie. Being the Doctor Who fangirl that I am, my immediate thought was "bowties are cool", my next was "omygoodness I want a top-hat!!" ...

Also on my ramblings I found out that the Wesley Methodist church holds AA meetings every Friday at noon... lol, but I'll let you just imagine how I found that out. ;D And no, I'm not an alcoholic, thanks for the vote of confidence...

 Here's a question for you: how do you measure a person's passion? How do you know where your passion lies & whether you ought to follow it or not?

I ask because I've been contacted several times by a very persuasive lady who is trying to talk me into being a Mary Kay consultant. No, it's not out of the blue, I was helping out my cousin who recently became a consultant for them, and one of the things she is supposed to be doing is recruiting--so I volunteered to have her practice on me. And at first I was rather intrigued, it sounded like it could be fun & worthwhile, so I looked into it closer. Then I had a conversation with Mum & she said something that completely changed my mind.

"You know, you'd end up having to choose between theatre & this, because your evenings would be spoken for."

When I realized that I completely lost all interest. I had to go back and tell the gracious gal that thank you, but I will not be participating. It was interesting because the night I explained my situation to her she had said something about "follow your passions". So when she called me again later that week I simply told her in a straightforward fashion: "My passions lie elsewhere, with theatre, and I have to follow that."

She said she's not giving up, but the poor gal might as well. My mind is made up.

But about passion--I didn't even truly "discover" theatre until, almost on a whim, I decided to major in it in college: "until God told me what He really wants me to do". Six years later, apparently He did, and here I am chasing it as a career and calling it my passion. I told someone shortly after I graduated that if I had to live in a cardboard box to pursue this, I would. Is that passion? I don't know.

I have met several people who truly love what they do--or who are doing what they can in order to reach that goal of doing what they love. I met a gal yesterday who is working three jobs in order to support herself until she can become established in her chosen passion of Graphic Design--that says passion to me. I know people who left friends and family and moved here in order that they might find more opportunities to pursue their art, that says passion to me.

In myself? Am I passionate about theatre? I think I am. I know I love to talk about it, to learn about it, to participate in its creation in almost (almost) any fashion. If you've had a conversation with me about a show I'm working on, have worked on, or am writing I'm sure you'll have noticed the change that occurs. What would I be willing to give up in order to practice this art? Perhaps a better question: what wouldn't I be willing to give up?

That latter question brings to mind another question: what other passions do I have? What defines passion?

Dictionary.com gives one definition as being "any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling". But digging a little deeper, the passion that I'm talking about is a more live-shaping passion. It seems about as ambiguous in our language as the word "love". Well, I suppose that's a given, since the two are sometimes used synonymously...

I think I've come to see the passion as being less of a choice, less of a thought-provoked state than love. Love is a choice, in my mind. In choosing to love someone I choose to put their wants & needs before my own, regardless of how I "feel" at the moment. In this fashion, I may not like a person & might be very angry with them, but having made that choice I put my feelings aside and love them anyway.

Passion strikes me as being more of a drive. It is a baser motivator. Passion is something that I may control my reaction to, but I don't know that I can control its origins. The difference between love born of duty & love born of passion is the one is a choice & the other is a given.

So when I say I am passionate about theatre, I may well be able to go for years without participating in this artform, but I would feel as though the vibrancy of life were halved for the duration of my fast. I can go for a long time without seeing the people I love passionately, but colours grow dim & flavours are less sweet.

For myself one question that haunts is this: I can say I love my God, but am I passionate about Him? Granted, passion ebbs and flows as a result of my being a temporal person for now. And yet... is my Love for Him born of duty? Or does it flame forth from passion? I know which I would rather...

Then again, can Duty itself be a form of Passion? Uffda, there's a whole other discussion.

My question to end this with: where are your passions? And what are you doing about them?

The Boiler Room

The above title is the name of one of my new favorite haunts. It's a coffee shop, and it's a mere 2 blocks away from my new home. They have rice milk (yay lattes that won't kill me!!) and wifi... I think I'm a new regular! ;)

Also, that's right, my NEW home. My last blog post was in September of 2011, and quite a bit has happened since then.... I'll see if I can play catch-up for ya...

Since September of 2011:

My nanny job has run its course. I am no longer seeing to the wants & whims of Boychild & Girlchild. The many stories I found in that venue of employment are varied and hysterical, but I can honestly say I am glad to not have that job anymore. Don't get me wrong, it was fun/ny, and the kiddos had their moments of endearment, but they were two of the strangest children I have ever interacted with. Can you believe, they didn't like stories???? What kind of kid doesn't want to hear a story???? These two, that's who. :S I'm not making that up, the only time I ever managed to get them to listen to a whole story was when Boychild was being such a little jerkface that I had to hold him down just to get him to calm down. And even then he tried really hard not to listen... Weird kids...

Also in that time I stage managed my second professional theatre show. A Streetcar Named Desire was ... definitely a growing experience. I determined once and for all that no, I really and truly do not enjoy stage managing, even if I am awesome at it. I don't care if I can do it well, it's just not for me. So after the closing of that show (in which I worked with some truly spectacular & talented people!!) I resigned my Company Stage Manager position with Theatre Coup d'Etat in order that I might more actively pursue my passions of writing & acting. But if you can you should absolutely go see their coming show: Angels in America: Part I, it's going up this July!

Speaking of acting, there's a different theatre company called Green T Productions that I am in workshops with. We are learning about all kinds of Eastern theatre styles (kabuki, noh, and... flamenco... that's right!) in preparation for the upcoming production of The Hobbit. Auditions for that show are July 1st and I'm so excited! The premise of Green T is to retell classic Western plays with an Eastern twist, so in The Hobbit this would manifest itself with each race having its own unique Eastern style of movement. Also, plans for Smaug sound utterly phenomenal!!!! I'm sure I'll have more to tell about this later... ;)

Wow, that cold-press coffee really does have a lot of caffeine in it... my hands may be twitching a little bit as I'm trying to type... Note to self: maybe I should inquire after the decaf cold-press next time!!! Or drink it a little earlier in the day when I need that extra kick... It might take me a while to calm down!! I seem to be thinking in a lot of caps & exclamation marks, but I'll try not to allow that to influence my writing too much. ;)

Anyhoo, back to catching up...

I have a pretty regular dayjob now. I'm answering inbound sales calls for a pillow company. We sell the most comfortable pillow you could ever own & the last one you'll ever have to buy! ;) Turns out I'm a pretty amazing salesperson too, if I do say so myself... who knew? I'm looking for something a little closer, but this job will certainly do for now... lol, how many props have I said that about before? Now I have a do-fer job... ;)

And new home!! Last Friday I moved into my new apartment, I've been living there for a week, as of tomorrow, and I have loved every moment of it!! Mind you, I don't have much furniture yet--the majority of that will come on Saturday, my parents are kindly bringing it up from Illinois. My new place is a character-filled one-bedroom in a neighborhood in uptown. The building is older, and I have a clawfoot tub!! And my closet is big enough that I routinely open it to see if Narnia has moved into it yet... I'm on the third floor of a building with no elevator, so I'm excited about building up the endurance in my legs again. I keep getting flashbacks to all those classes I took on the fourth floor of the AC at Bethel... I'll be glad to reunite with my couch though :D

One more major event in my life since last I updated... I am no longer single. A new character has entered the cast of this production I call my life, and I shall refer to him from hereon out as Boyfriend. ;) You know who you are... lol. We had our first date on New Year's Eve, and are still going strong. The story is epic and I fully intend on writing the full version down... as soon as I find out what the rest of it is... It's been interesting, he lives in Illinois, and I'm committed to Minnesota for at least another year (the length of my lease), so it's been interesting. Of the over 5 months we've been together we've spent a total of 2 weeks in the same state... but in less than a week he'll be coming to visit me!!!!! I'm so very excited!!!!!! :D He's staying for a whole week, and every time I try to make plans for us to do stuff I get completely distracted by sheer excitement... I suck at pre-planning. But at least I'm pretty good at winging it. ;)

So yeah, as far as events in my own life are concerned, I think that's a relatively concise summary of what's been going on. If you have any desire to know more about something, let me know & I'll try to oblige. ;)

But for now I'm going to post this quick before something happens to dissuade me from doing so. See you all later!! :)