Vanillaroma

That's the name of the scent of the air freshener hanging from my car's rear-view mirror... don't ask, it's just the first thing that popped into my head. If you're still confused allow me to direct your attention to the title of this blog... ;)

What to write about, what to write about?

Well, I had an interesting dream Sunday morning. I dreamt that I was visiting Bethel--my alma mater!--for a while. I was staying in one of the Logan houses, but was wandering around campus at the time. But it was odd, I was walking down the steps on the pond-side of the Dining Commons and there was a massive crowd of people that I knew slightly, but not well enough for them or myself to care that we were seeing each other again. I was trying to make my way to the theatre building, but it was hard because there were so many people--all of whom seemed to be guys, & most of whom seemed to be wearing the same grey & dark red vertical striped sweater-thing, no idea where that came from. But then I saw a friend! J. was sitting next to the steps talking to someone on the other side of the steps. He would be happy to see me, right? So I hopped down to where he was & tried to strike up a conversation with him, but he kept trying to tlak around me to this other person--he didn't even care that I was there except to tell me that I was being rude by blocking his view of the person he was trying to converse with. I was so crushed & confused that I woke up.

Now I know for a fact that won't happen. I know I will be welcomed back with open arms--mostly because many of my friends have told me outright via Facebook. So where did this nightmare come from?

No idea, but it is interesting to see what it shows about the state of my mind right now... Mind you, I don't really go in for the whole dream-symbol-interpretation deals, but there have been some things I've noticed over the years. I tend to dream very vividly, and oddly somtimes. But nightmares, even little ones like this, are rare for me, and they usually mean something.

One thing to note is where it took place. I tend to place myself in either bizarre locals or the place I am most comfortable/at home in. So since I was at Bethel & on campus it makes me think that I still view the school as my home. I haven't actually dreamt myself into the house I live at here in Monticello for years, come to think of it...

Next, I realized in my dream-state that I was visiting, I wasn't living there like  was in a couple of earlier dreams (I put in some really weird scholarship hours with the theatre secretary in one of them... that was odd!). Am I moving on? ... ? Maybe.

Also, this fear of not being even seen... It's an old one for me, but I haven't felt it in a while about Bethel. There's always someone smiling at me there.

Who knows, but I must depart for now, the lappy's battery is dying.