"Stop Talking Brain Thinking Hush!"

~The Doctor

Most of my favorite quotes seem to come from the Doctor, come to think of it...

Writer's block is a terrible evil little troll who lives under every key on my computer and waits to leap out and bite off my fingers. But I have a solution! I read that to combat this dread creature I must dye a character's hair hot pink and sit back to see what happens...

...Pity that doesn't seem likely to help with a blog. :P What do I do now?

I should come up with a solution to blogger's block. Teeheehee, I think I have it! Toss in a Platypus and write about the day with one! hmmm... this could work... I think I'll give it a go!

So this morning I fully intended to wake at a reasonable hour and go to the gym, and be constructive all day long. Unfortunately, my platypus was simply far too cuddly and insisted that I stay in bed to keep it warm, as the blankets alone would never do. Being the naturally obliging person that I am (I almost managed to type that with a straight face, could you read it as such?), I obliged! Until a far later hour than I had hoped.

You see, I have a dreadful malady known as morning-spine-of-a-jellyfish. Does anyone know if there's a pill I can take for that? If you do, please let me know!

But I digress (I like that word, "digress", it makes me smile!), back to the platypi!

I finally managed to pry myself away from the cuddly platypus long enough to get ready for the day, then commenced to scrubbing down the bathroom. This is normally a fairly straight-forward job, but today was a bit more hazardous than usual. Today the shower needed a dousing, which meant using some special--and very heady--chemicals! Now I'm not normally one for using controlled substances, but this shower-scrubby-bubbles-stuff was ... whoo! I had to keep running out into the living room just make sure I still knew how many noses I had--which meant cleaning took a smidge longer than usual--but that's okay, the bathroom is nice & shiny now. :) Though the poor dog was rather confused, she couldn't quite make out why I kept running back & forth from the porch to the bathroom. Such irregular behaviour usually means a bath for her, so she was a bit edgy all morning. :)

Progressing, my youngest nephew came over and we spent some time waiting for his Grandma to get off the phone. We passed the time just like anyone else would: pretending we were superheroes, and showing off our moves! For some reason though, the kid couldn't decide on which hero he wanted to be. One moment he was sucking all my powers from me (I never did get out of him what those were exactly), then he was trapping me in a web while stoutly defending his title of Batman, next thing I know I'm being shadow-flamed by a dragon named Cynder! It was all very confusing. Then he calmed down and decided he was a kitty & I needed to buy him & bring him home... nevermind that I'm allergic to kitties & just want a nice goldfish, I must buy him & he's a kitty!

Then Mum called a halt to our antics by announcing her intent to vacuum & kicking me out for the afternoon. Aaaand here we are! :)

Well that was fun. :)

Alas though, my hour is almost up & I must needs run back home soon.

Cuddle your platypi everyday!

Wednesday

It is sometimes not the best thing in the world to wait until Wednesday night to write, because sometimes nighttime rolls around & I am too tired to string very many sentences together at once.

But I said I would post.

So, this is me, posting a lame post.

The point of this post is to post something pointing to the post that should appear posted at some point tomorrow morning.

Thursday morning I will string more sentences together.

But not tonight. Tonight I'm going to say goodnight, and go to bed.

Good night.

"Always Bring a Banana to a Party"

~The Doctor

Yikes it's been a while...

I thought about changing the title of this post to something not-a-flair-quote, but actually descriptive of what the content of this post was going to be--then I thought "why?" Honestly, if I were to name this something like, I don't know, "April Showers" or "Hermiting & the Life of an Introvert", I might manage to stay on topic. But what would be far more likely to happen would be staying on topic--if I'm clever & very very lucky--for roughly 14 words. Then I would follow some rabbit down a deep dark hole, drink a little eat-me-cake, and the rest would spin out of control from there.

Besides, I like this quote, so I'm keeping it.

I do have a couple of thing in mind to write about though. Chiefest among them is possibly a catching-up on what's been going on & why haven't I written on here in so very long?! Or, something like that...

I promised myself this wouldn't be just another passing fad.
I promised myself I would write regularly with this blog.
I promised myself not another night/week/month would go by without a new post.
I promised myself would call.
I promised myself I would write.
I promised myself I would visit.
I promised myself I wouldn't slip into the old habits again.
I promised myself I would clean.
I promised myself a lot of things...

Why don't I keep all these promises I make to myself?

I consider my word to be a binding thing--if I tell someone I will or won't do something, I follow through. I will bend over backwards to keep my word--which is why I'm very cautious about giving it. Except, I never feel obligated to keep such promises when made to myself. Why?

I was once asked by a very dear friend "Why do you undervalue your own opinion so much?" In the moment I didn't realize I was doing it, I thought I was just being honest about it's worth, but looking back I realized she was right. I was devaluing my own pain. Could it be something similar that happens when I don't keep these promises to myself? I'm not important, why bother. Anyone else is important enough to keep a promise to, but not myself.

"Love thy neighbour as thyself" the commandment says... Can I honestly value others if I deny my own value in the sight of my King?

While in undergrad I learned a tough (for me) but valuable lesson: I can't take care of anyone else well if I don't look after myself.

Well then. I feel kind of stupid when this happens, but I appear to have forgotten something essential yet again.

How's this: I promise you, and myself, that I will write on this blog every Wednesday. Let's see if I can't keep one to myself, & I'll move on from there.

Now, on a completely unrelated (maybe?) topic: This year was the first I remember every observing the season of Lent, and it was very educational. Ash Wednesday I also observed (it fell on my birthday, ironically enough), and that was beautiful, but I think Lent I learned the most from this year.

I fasted from fictional books. Mind you, I love books. My own personal heaven is a cozy chair, a fluffy blanket, a bowl of dark chocolate peanut m&m's, and a room full of my favorite novels accompanied by a schedule completely free of obligations. So seriously, over a month without!? Yeah... let's do it... I love Jesus lots...

I thought I would spend more time writing, praying, and reading books like "The Case for Christ", "Classics of Philosophy", and... oh gee, maybe THE BIBLE... As it turned out, I just played a lot more video games.

It was a nice idea, and very well-intentioned at least.

Easter came (why do we call it "Easter" anyway? What does that have to do with Resurrection Sunday?? Please tell me if you know!), and I thought "well bummer, that was a failure of a Lent fast!" But I'm reconsidering...

To the well-organized mind, is anything ever really a failure? No, I didn't accomplish what I wanted to, but that needn't mean I go without learning from the experience. Introspection & evaluation of the whole Lent idea & my own experience can show a lot about God & myself, and our relationship...

For instance: If I want to coax my brain into writing, passively taking away forms of entertainment simply isn't going to cut it. I am very much a lazy person sometimes; if one form of entertainment is taken away my natural inclination is--far from going & being productive--to go & find something else to play. I will even, on occasion, resort to staring into space instead of doing something productive! Much as it may disgust me to admit, nothing can be done to fix it if I refuse to acknowledge the problem exists. :P

Also, a random thought I thought when Lent first started: I began counting down the days till Easter (life soon became too crazed & insane to keep that up, but I did it once) and I wondered... Do you think Christ counted down the days while He was in the desert & fasted? Did He look forward to the fulfillment of His wandering with anticipation? Or did He just give over all future events to His Father and focus on living completely and totally in each moment He lived as it came to Him?

I wonder, how to balance the joy of living in the present with the need to prepare for the future--even knowing the future we prepare for may never actually reach us...

Well, I hafta run. There's been a new Doctor Who episode out since Saturday and I haven't seen it yet!! Probably because I've had my nose buried in a book since Sunday... hehehe...

By the by, watch out for those dandelions. My nephew's informed me that they're taking over the world... just thought ya might need to know. No need to worry about the Zombie Apocalypse, the dandelions will be taking over first. :)

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

~Firefly

So I've noticed something about writing... Y'know how some writers get their greatest inspiration, they create their finest works in moments of greatest depression, self-doubt, and darkness.

I'm not one of them.

It's odd, but I'm not sure if I get down because I don't persist in writing enough (writing certainly can turn a down day into a, up one)--or maybe when I'm down I just don't write.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? :)

As you can see though, I'm writing today. Today's been pretty decent. It's not raining, but it probably will this week! Yay! (Yes, I'm one of those weirdos, don't hate me)

But it's still an interesting question. To put it differently (& in a simpler fashion):
Do I write because I'm happy?
Or does writing make me happy?

Not that I haven't written when I'm down, but ... that was usually poetry, and I don't count that. I don't know how most poets write, but for myself I can honestly say that the poetry muse only moves in me occasionally--and that's the only time any poetry I write is worthwhile. She also moves very unpredictably in me... but that's another post.

Also on writing, I finished another journal today. It was red with a shiny gold pattern, and it was hardback. The pages were beautiful, a light red (oh alright, pink) with a more solid toned pattern on the edge where the lines for writing stopped. Her name was CoraSueño, Heart's Dream (I know, that's not the literal Spanish translation, it's a name I made up so I don't care! :P).

R.I.P. CoraSueño, may your last page be filled with beautiful dreams.

"Act well your part, there all the honor lies."

~Alexander Pope

There is sunshine outside today, and I felt perfectly comfortable in a t-shirt! (Plague on those red squiggly lines, they are such a concentration breaker!!) I love warmth, but the skeptic within keeps sneering at the gleeful five-year-old and reminding me that it's only February, snow will yet return. :P That's alright though, the five-year-old is still excited, it's hard to dampen that.

But enough about the weather...

Life, how's it been going lately? Hmmm... well... There was that uber-exciting trip to Indiana to see the Bethel production of Cinderella, and to see all the friends that were there, and the road-trip part of it...

Hmm... this blogging seems to be rather unproductive. I don't know how I can have gone on such a magnificent trip and come back with so little to write here about, but maybe it has something to do with all the other ideas running around in my head. No worries though, I'll leave you with something, if not something interesting. Then I'm off to write fiction--pure, unadulterated (why do writers use that particular word there so often I wonder?) fiction.

I've written about love, have I told you about joy?

Joy is the winter that eventually ends.
Joy is the starlight in the present black.
Joy is a friend, miles away,
That wishes you never had to leave,
But loving you all the same.
Joy is memories fondly recalled,
And the hope of new ones to come.
Joy is strong enough to stand in the darkness,
And free enough to break any chain.
Joy is sunlight remembered and hoped for.
Joy is friendship, past and future.
Joy is in the moment, forgetting sorrow and fear.
Joy inspires in spite of the drought.
Joy smiles at love, and laughs at doubt.

I'm Not Crazy, I'm Rehearsing

Ah! Who knew getting out of the house with enough time for writing could be so difficult?!

I'm so happy to have found a coffee shop again--is it odd to miss being in a coffee shop? There just seems to be a certain aura that can only be found in a place that specializes in coffee & tea that cannot be found anywhere else. Maybe it's the writer in me, I hear that writers tend to be drawn to these havens like moth to flame... Maybe that's why I've missed it. But I've found one now, so there's no need to miss anymore! Yay!

But enough about coffee shops (well, digression from thence at least).

The parents are back, life has returned to normal, I'm no longer in charge of cooking in the house. That's kind of a happyness, but kind of saddening too. I rather enjoyed the adventure of it all.

All the same, I'm glad to see the parents back.

This weekend is Bethel College's production of Cinderella! Whoohoo! I'm going to see it tomorrow! Huzzah! Wait, it's freezing outside, so I'm heading ... north?! What? Who's bright idea was that?!

Ah well, can't have it all.

This is crazy, I've been thinking so much lately, & wanting to write here a ton. But here I am AGAIN!! Mer. Fine. I would forget to bring my writer's book with me this one time. Ah well, hopefully a routine can develop soon such that I will not do this nonsense anymore.

Before I go, I will leave you with this, a poem I wrote a while ago:

How can I say
What I know not?
How can I play
If I know not the rules?
How might I dance
Not knowing the steps?
Must I take a chance
With my life in my hands?
With the flames dancing high
Whilst the thunder rolls loud,
I look to the sky
And sing!
Such stuff is of life
Not knowing but guessing,
Fighting through strife,
And leaping in faith.

WARNING: Children left Unattended Will Be Sold to the Circus

So much to write about & so little time! Ah! This is what happens when I get sick & don't make it out of the house for a week. :P

First off: So this week is kind of a personal "Survivor" for me, & I thought of possibly making a mini-series in this blog to document. See, the folks went to Minnesota to a) visit family & b) go to job interviews!(Yeah, go Dad!). For the better part of the week that means it's just me and the dog, and the dog's not allowed to cook.

That's right, I'm gonna be cookin'. Mind you, my experiential knowledge of this artform is limited mostly to baking & the very basic things... like boiling water. But my theoretical knowledge is vast & lofty! ... ish. So this week is essentially my shot to put all that theory to the test & see how I do.

In planning I realized most of what I was menu-ing was fried stuff. Y'know: eggs, fried lunchmeats, mushrooms... the like. It should be interesting.

But so far I've been eating at other people's places or demolishing the leftovers that will go bad otherwise. I'll try to keep you updated though... should be interesting.

Second thing to write about: I have found a magical charm to keep me from growing up!! Here it is:

"Know all the Questions, but not the Answers
Look for the Different, instead of the Same
Never Walk where there's room for Running
Don't do anything that can't be a Game"

I think I need to frame this & hang it up somewhere conspicuous.

I rediscovered this magic formulae in a book that was published in 1886, copyrighted in 1970. Written by Zilpha Keatley Snyder (another amazing name for an author!), "The Changeling" was my Mum's favorite book, then she gave it to me (or I pilfered it, not sure...) and it became one of my favorites. It is a beautiful story that I reread lately for the first time in years, and it still holds so much meaning and so many new nuances that I never saw before. If you haven't, you need to read this book!

Last thing to write about, then I hafta go: I found a fortune a couple of days ago while I was cleaning my desk. I sometimes save the fortunes from fortune cookies (yeah, no moneys, don't get excited) if i think they're particularly clever. This one was the best I've ever seen, & it's the note I shall leave you with today. Ponder the wisdom of it & enrich your life!

"If you bite the hand that feeds you, it won't taste as good as the food you were fed."