I'm slightly terrified at this very moment.
Okay, so that might be a bit of an overstatement... terrified is probably too strong a word for this, apprehensive maybe would fit better... but regardless, this evening kind of fills me with a feeling approaching fear.
I may be losing my voice.
I'm about to direct 20 children in a musical rehearsal.
Bah.
I've been doing so well at denying any possibility that I might be sick, then I woke up yesterday with a raging headache that lasted all day & the kind of sticky awfulness in the throat that makes you really not want to swallow. (Get your minds out of the gutter, you dirty people!!) But I persevered & made it through rehearsal last night--as an actor.
Now I have to direct. Heaven, help me!
Not that I don't love these kids, they are wonderful people. But only one or two of them is ever quiet for any significant length of time.
But I'm well-armed with my mug of hot chocolate (made with almond milk, so no gumming up the throat :), my death-glare, and my counting fingers. With these weapons I intend to quell the chattering hoards (is that spelled correctly? I don't even care right now), and make it home victorious to chicken broth in some form & tea... I like tea, with honey, yes, lots of honey...
I hate being sick. It makes me whiny & I really detest myself when I'm whiny. :P
Yep. That's life at the moment. There's so much that needs to get done, but if you think I'm a bit scatterbrained when I'm well you should see what this head is like when it's not feeling well. Whew! Good luck deciphering whatever's going on in here, I don't want to try...
But looks like people are showing up for rehearsal, so I hafta go. Later!
Watch out for the cats, they're trying to take over the world you know!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Apple Pie
I remember now why I always get cherrie when I go to McDonald's... it's because I really just don't like the apple... but I got two accidentally, anyone want one? :P
So there's a subject that has been making my fingers itch for a while... I've been drafting it in my head for days now, so I'm going to finally type it out, I'm glad you folks don't mind being subjected to this kind of thing. :)
In the church we joke about how one of the most dangerous prayers you can pray is "Lord, give me patience." It's dangerous because God answers, usually with a "okay, sure!", but He doesn't do so in the way we want Him to. Usually He gives patience by putting us in situations that require us to exercise it--you know what I'm talking about. Someone in our life that's exceedingly annoying, losing a job & having to wait on Him to bring the right one into our lives, etc. He treats patience like any other muscle, & in order to gain more we must first develop what we have--however miniscule that amount may be.
I grew up in the church hearing the "horror stories" from people who had prayed for patience, so I know better. If God sees fit to increase my portion of patience I will let Him decide when to do that--I'm not asking for it!! But I think I've discovered some prayers more dangerous by far.
They are two, and I admit, I was warned. But I dared to pray them anyway.
Lord-my-Love, teach me to love like You do.
God-my-King, teach me to see people the way You see them.
Crazy, right? Who in their right mind prays that?!
Then again... when was the last time I was in my right mind? ;)
Pray for wisdom, pray for understanding, pray for a teachable spirit, to know God's will, to be assured of His love, to be an encourager, pray for other people, intercede for the masses & your country, but pray to love like He does, to see like He does? That's madness!
And so very worth it.
His love is so amazing that even being able to understand the merest shadow of it is breathtaking!
I may bore you church kids with this, but bear with me, yeah? 1 Corinthians 13 in the New King James Version reads thus:
"1. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
2.And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
5. does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
6. does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
9. For we know in part and we prophecy in part.
10. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
A whole chapter, devoted to describing love & its excellence. I know it's traditionally read at weddings, and all that blahblahblah... but Paul wrote it originally to the church in Corinth, not to a couple. This love he's describing is not meant to be restrained to the love shared between marriedish folk, it's supposed to be a love shared by God's people within the Church & without, yeah? Sooo... wow, can you imagine if it was?
I mean, seriously, look at this crazy kind of love. It's kind in the midst of suffering--no matter how long it suffers it never stops being kind in return. This love does not envy--it doesn't feel resentful or spiteful at seeing other people's success, it's happy for them instead. Love does not parade itself--I believe some other translations read that it doesn't brag about itself. It is not puffed up, thinking no more of itself than it ought. Love does not behave rudely, it's always polite. It doesn't seek its own, but is always thinking of how to benefit others. It's not provoked--this could be helped by not being puffed up, it's hard to make someone angry if they are truly humble. It thinks no evil--perhaps always giving someone the benefit of the doubt, extending grace & mercy to those who do not deserve it. Love does not rejoice in iniquity--sin, wickedness, bad things we do, for the benefit of those who don't speak churchese--but instead rejoices in the truth. This relationship between love & truth is important, I'll get back to it later, but keep it in mind. Love bears all things, nothing can make it stop. Love believes all things, not in a gullible fashion, but in keeping with wisdom & thinking no evil & rejoicing in truth. Love hopes all things, recognizing that with God, all things are possible. It endures all things, no matter the pain inflicted upon it, it persists.
Love never fails.
I wish my love was like this. I would like to think it's getting there, but some days I have to wonder. Some of these things sound like I could say "yeah, that's me". But others... I'm so far away from some of the others.
And without this love? Everything is worthless. It really doesn't matter how good I am, what I do, what I know, even who I know is pointless if I don't have this love. Everything about me will fade away, except for what is done in love. Someone said once that "no one cares what you do, all they'll remember is how you made them feel."
I want to make them feel loved.
1 John is a book that kind of mystified me for a while, so naturally I became obsessed with trying to figure it out. Then I figured out that I will never have the Bible all figured out, but I still tried! 1 John does reveal a lot upon further study that was completely hidden to me the first few times I read it.
The main thing that mystified me was the very last verse. The whole book seems to be about love, and what it looks like, how to discern perfect from imperfect love, etc. Then the last verse seems to pop out of no where: "Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen."
I mean seriously, what?!
Love, truth, love love love, overcomers, truth, love & truth, truth & love, oh & stay away from those idols kids, bye.
???
(Maybe you're smarter than me & this is one of those "duh Rachel, gosh" moments for you... if it is, well... go read some other blog! :P okay, no really, just bear with me, please?)
I read it, I circled all the times "love" came up, I underlined "truth", I drew little arrows to all the "therefores" (you know, to see what the therefore is there for... sorry, it had to be said), highlighted "overcome" in blue, highlighted every mention of God in gold, I mean I seriously dissected this book trying to figure this out!
Then it hit me, & I honestly felt like an idiot for it taking so long.
John calls the kind of love described in 1 Corinthians 13, God's love, "Perfect love". He has a lot to say about it too, for being one of the smaller books in the Scriptures, 1 John uses the word "love" 46 times, mind you that's my own imperfect count based on NKJV, but still, that's a lot for 5 chapters! One thing he had to say about it really hit home with me though. It came in 1 John 4:18.
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."
Wow.
No fear. Idolatry? Any love that does not originate in God or focus on Him brings fear with it. Whether it is inflicting fear on others or on oneself, bent love is fearful. Back to 1 Corinthians 13, perfect love has no need to fear, it hopes all things, believes all things, bears all thing, and it never fails. No matter what happens, that Love is unafraid.
But it is very easy, extremely easy, for love to become bent--unless I am constantly on my guard against that. And that's where the idols come in. Love has a very close relationship to truth--"truth", or some derivation of the word, is used at least 18 times in these 5 chapters (again, that's just my amateur count)--and perfect love cannot be seperated from the truth.
Perfect love sees the truth in the object of its love, and persists in loving. Not only does it love "in spite of" the truth about the beloved, it rejoices in the truth it sees!! But just being able to see the truth is not enough, the truth needs must be seen and spoken in love, otherwise it is twisted. I might even go so far as to say the truth about someone can't be recognized except by Love.
But I was talking about the idols too. Human nature is a nature that needs something to worship. Even when it claims to not believe in anything worthy of worship it ends up worshipping something--like itself. Love is something desired by everyone, but without the truth it leads to idolatry. If love is not perfected in the Truth, it can go very wrong.
So when John warned: "keep yourselves from idols", it seems to fit a little better after recognizing how easily perfect love can fall to imperfection.
Anyhoo... That's probably not the last I'll write on this, but that's all for tonight. I need to go home & let the poor dog outside. :)
Don't get mauled by bears!
So there's a subject that has been making my fingers itch for a while... I've been drafting it in my head for days now, so I'm going to finally type it out, I'm glad you folks don't mind being subjected to this kind of thing. :)
In the church we joke about how one of the most dangerous prayers you can pray is "Lord, give me patience." It's dangerous because God answers, usually with a "okay, sure!", but He doesn't do so in the way we want Him to. Usually He gives patience by putting us in situations that require us to exercise it--you know what I'm talking about. Someone in our life that's exceedingly annoying, losing a job & having to wait on Him to bring the right one into our lives, etc. He treats patience like any other muscle, & in order to gain more we must first develop what we have--however miniscule that amount may be.
I grew up in the church hearing the "horror stories" from people who had prayed for patience, so I know better. If God sees fit to increase my portion of patience I will let Him decide when to do that--I'm not asking for it!! But I think I've discovered some prayers more dangerous by far.
They are two, and I admit, I was warned. But I dared to pray them anyway.
Lord-my-Love, teach me to love like You do.
God-my-King, teach me to see people the way You see them.
Crazy, right? Who in their right mind prays that?!
Then again... when was the last time I was in my right mind? ;)
Pray for wisdom, pray for understanding, pray for a teachable spirit, to know God's will, to be assured of His love, to be an encourager, pray for other people, intercede for the masses & your country, but pray to love like He does, to see like He does? That's madness!
And so very worth it.
His love is so amazing that even being able to understand the merest shadow of it is breathtaking!
I may bore you church kids with this, but bear with me, yeah? 1 Corinthians 13 in the New King James Version reads thus:
"1. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
2.And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
5. does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
6. does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
9. For we know in part and we prophecy in part.
10. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
A whole chapter, devoted to describing love & its excellence. I know it's traditionally read at weddings, and all that blahblahblah... but Paul wrote it originally to the church in Corinth, not to a couple. This love he's describing is not meant to be restrained to the love shared between marriedish folk, it's supposed to be a love shared by God's people within the Church & without, yeah? Sooo... wow, can you imagine if it was?
I mean, seriously, look at this crazy kind of love. It's kind in the midst of suffering--no matter how long it suffers it never stops being kind in return. This love does not envy--it doesn't feel resentful or spiteful at seeing other people's success, it's happy for them instead. Love does not parade itself--I believe some other translations read that it doesn't brag about itself. It is not puffed up, thinking no more of itself than it ought. Love does not behave rudely, it's always polite. It doesn't seek its own, but is always thinking of how to benefit others. It's not provoked--this could be helped by not being puffed up, it's hard to make someone angry if they are truly humble. It thinks no evil--perhaps always giving someone the benefit of the doubt, extending grace & mercy to those who do not deserve it. Love does not rejoice in iniquity--sin, wickedness, bad things we do, for the benefit of those who don't speak churchese--but instead rejoices in the truth. This relationship between love & truth is important, I'll get back to it later, but keep it in mind. Love bears all things, nothing can make it stop. Love believes all things, not in a gullible fashion, but in keeping with wisdom & thinking no evil & rejoicing in truth. Love hopes all things, recognizing that with God, all things are possible. It endures all things, no matter the pain inflicted upon it, it persists.
Love never fails.
I wish my love was like this. I would like to think it's getting there, but some days I have to wonder. Some of these things sound like I could say "yeah, that's me". But others... I'm so far away from some of the others.
And without this love? Everything is worthless. It really doesn't matter how good I am, what I do, what I know, even who I know is pointless if I don't have this love. Everything about me will fade away, except for what is done in love. Someone said once that "no one cares what you do, all they'll remember is how you made them feel."
I want to make them feel loved.
1 John is a book that kind of mystified me for a while, so naturally I became obsessed with trying to figure it out. Then I figured out that I will never have the Bible all figured out, but I still tried! 1 John does reveal a lot upon further study that was completely hidden to me the first few times I read it.
The main thing that mystified me was the very last verse. The whole book seems to be about love, and what it looks like, how to discern perfect from imperfect love, etc. Then the last verse seems to pop out of no where: "Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen."
I mean seriously, what?!
Love, truth, love love love, overcomers, truth, love & truth, truth & love, oh & stay away from those idols kids, bye.
???
(Maybe you're smarter than me & this is one of those "duh Rachel, gosh" moments for you... if it is, well... go read some other blog! :P okay, no really, just bear with me, please?)
I read it, I circled all the times "love" came up, I underlined "truth", I drew little arrows to all the "therefores" (you know, to see what the therefore is there for... sorry, it had to be said), highlighted "overcome" in blue, highlighted every mention of God in gold, I mean I seriously dissected this book trying to figure this out!
Then it hit me, & I honestly felt like an idiot for it taking so long.
John calls the kind of love described in 1 Corinthians 13, God's love, "Perfect love". He has a lot to say about it too, for being one of the smaller books in the Scriptures, 1 John uses the word "love" 46 times, mind you that's my own imperfect count based on NKJV, but still, that's a lot for 5 chapters! One thing he had to say about it really hit home with me though. It came in 1 John 4:18.
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."
Wow.
No fear. Idolatry? Any love that does not originate in God or focus on Him brings fear with it. Whether it is inflicting fear on others or on oneself, bent love is fearful. Back to 1 Corinthians 13, perfect love has no need to fear, it hopes all things, believes all things, bears all thing, and it never fails. No matter what happens, that Love is unafraid.
But it is very easy, extremely easy, for love to become bent--unless I am constantly on my guard against that. And that's where the idols come in. Love has a very close relationship to truth--"truth", or some derivation of the word, is used at least 18 times in these 5 chapters (again, that's just my amateur count)--and perfect love cannot be seperated from the truth.
Perfect love sees the truth in the object of its love, and persists in loving. Not only does it love "in spite of" the truth about the beloved, it rejoices in the truth it sees!! But just being able to see the truth is not enough, the truth needs must be seen and spoken in love, otherwise it is twisted. I might even go so far as to say the truth about someone can't be recognized except by Love.
But I was talking about the idols too. Human nature is a nature that needs something to worship. Even when it claims to not believe in anything worthy of worship it ends up worshipping something--like itself. Love is something desired by everyone, but without the truth it leads to idolatry. If love is not perfected in the Truth, it can go very wrong.
So when John warned: "keep yourselves from idols", it seems to fit a little better after recognizing how easily perfect love can fall to imperfection.
Anyhoo... That's probably not the last I'll write on this, but that's all for tonight. I need to go home & let the poor dog outside. :)
Don't get mauled by bears!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Real Quick!
I don't have long, but I wanted to post a brief update while I can...
I'm back in Monticello, we finished the long drive yesterday at 5ish in the am. I promptly went comatose until noon, when I awoke feeling like the day was going to be a slow one--and it was.
But let's back up a bit. Texas was sooooo much fun! Saturday was Mr. Grandpa's 90th birthday, & we had a big party at the church gym--complte with slide show & dinner. :) We're Baptists, wherever two or more are gathered we eat!
Sunday we went to church & Sunday school in the morning & kind of just chilled at church in the evening. There was a service, but Mom & I purposefully went an hour & a half early for the sake of seeing people, which we accomplished admirably. After the service was a fellowship soup dinner thing, and the taco soup was amazing!
But mostly, I loved getting to see the people. Some things never change, and some people only seem to change for the better. I realized while we were down there that I think New Braunfels, TX is about the closest thing I have to a "hometown". Coming on the heels of a trip to Austin, MN--my parents' hometown--this trip really highlighted for me just how much of my formative years was spent in New Braunfels, and the impact it had on my life. It was... interesting.
Oh, also! On the way back up from the sunny south, guess who I got to see! Be jealous, Bethel friends, I went through Marshall, Texas. That's right, Stacy Bone & I had dinner on Monday! :D It was so much fun to see him again.
So yeah, now it's back to life as usual... whatever that's supposed to look like. I have a nephew who's 17th birthday we're celebrating tonight. Crazy, yeah? Then there's lines to memorize, a show to block, more shows to write, people to email, a job to find, and a God to love like crazy. He's so amazing, it's hard to imagine what He sees in me somedays. But the worth of an object comes from what someone is willing to pay for it, yeah? & God paid so much for me, so I find my worth in Him. And His passion is crazy-amazing!
Anyhoo, later all! Watch out for the squirrels, they like eyeballs... ;)
I'm back in Monticello, we finished the long drive yesterday at 5ish in the am. I promptly went comatose until noon, when I awoke feeling like the day was going to be a slow one--and it was.
But let's back up a bit. Texas was sooooo much fun! Saturday was Mr. Grandpa's 90th birthday, & we had a big party at the church gym--complte with slide show & dinner. :) We're Baptists, wherever two or more are gathered we eat!
Sunday we went to church & Sunday school in the morning & kind of just chilled at church in the evening. There was a service, but Mom & I purposefully went an hour & a half early for the sake of seeing people, which we accomplished admirably. After the service was a fellowship soup dinner thing, and the taco soup was amazing!
But mostly, I loved getting to see the people. Some things never change, and some people only seem to change for the better. I realized while we were down there that I think New Braunfels, TX is about the closest thing I have to a "hometown". Coming on the heels of a trip to Austin, MN--my parents' hometown--this trip really highlighted for me just how much of my formative years was spent in New Braunfels, and the impact it had on my life. It was... interesting.
Oh, also! On the way back up from the sunny south, guess who I got to see! Be jealous, Bethel friends, I went through Marshall, Texas. That's right, Stacy Bone & I had dinner on Monday! :D It was so much fun to see him again.
So yeah, now it's back to life as usual... whatever that's supposed to look like. I have a nephew who's 17th birthday we're celebrating tonight. Crazy, yeah? Then there's lines to memorize, a show to block, more shows to write, people to email, a job to find, and a God to love like crazy. He's so amazing, it's hard to imagine what He sees in me somedays. But the worth of an object comes from what someone is willing to pay for it, yeah? & God paid so much for me, so I find my worth in Him. And His passion is crazy-amazing!
Anyhoo, later all! Watch out for the squirrels, they like eyeballs... ;)
Friday, October 8, 2010
I love my t-shirts
My apologies for not writing in a while... I've been kind of... well, not writing. So there.
Not that I haven't been thinking. I've been doing a lot of that lately. On Wedensday my parents & I undertook a 20 hour road-trip. I slept for less than half of it, & spent the rest of it not reading or writing or anything else, just thinking.
But what has it led to? What have I to show for it? 10ish hours of thought... but what did I think of?
Heck if I can remember. For the last hour I think it was something along the lines of "so tired of being in a car let me stretch!!!" But anyhoo...
I wished a lot, I rememer that. I still do, but that's beside the point.
Like right now, I wish I felt like writing more than random strings of nonsense...
I've had a lot to think about today too. Coming back to Texas has always felt a bit odd to me--I used to live here, & it's the first place we've come back to visit after moving away. When we drove back yesterday I was a bit torn between "this all feels so familiar & wonderful" and "holy cow I don't recognize ANYTHING!"
But I'm remembering. My Aunt K. & Uncle D. took us to what used to be my favorite restaurant while I lived here--the Adobe. So much had changed, but the enchiladas were still amazing, and so were the beans & rice. The menu was a lot smaller though, much of the spanish was gone & it was in mainly English (as much as is possible for a Mexican restaurant).
I had fun with my family today too. It's been years since I've seen these people--and catching up felt... well, it felt good. It's always a good time to see my Dad hang out with his brothers--they're so funny!
So yeah, I'm here in the Sunny South with family for a while... until the 20 hour car ride on Monday.
Woot!
Not that I haven't been thinking. I've been doing a lot of that lately. On Wedensday my parents & I undertook a 20 hour road-trip. I slept for less than half of it, & spent the rest of it not reading or writing or anything else, just thinking.
But what has it led to? What have I to show for it? 10ish hours of thought... but what did I think of?
Heck if I can remember. For the last hour I think it was something along the lines of "so tired of being in a car let me stretch!!!" But anyhoo...
I wished a lot, I rememer that. I still do, but that's beside the point.
Like right now, I wish I felt like writing more than random strings of nonsense...
I've had a lot to think about today too. Coming back to Texas has always felt a bit odd to me--I used to live here, & it's the first place we've come back to visit after moving away. When we drove back yesterday I was a bit torn between "this all feels so familiar & wonderful" and "holy cow I don't recognize ANYTHING!"
But I'm remembering. My Aunt K. & Uncle D. took us to what used to be my favorite restaurant while I lived here--the Adobe. So much had changed, but the enchiladas were still amazing, and so were the beans & rice. The menu was a lot smaller though, much of the spanish was gone & it was in mainly English (as much as is possible for a Mexican restaurant).
I had fun with my family today too. It's been years since I've seen these people--and catching up felt... well, it felt good. It's always a good time to see my Dad hang out with his brothers--they're so funny!
So yeah, I'm here in the Sunny South with family for a while... until the 20 hour car ride on Monday.
Woot!
Monday, October 4, 2010
What If...
So last night was the first time I wrote poetry in a good long while... Poetry is one of those things I never try to force, because when I do it ... well, it's real bad. But the Muses moved last night & I wrote for a couple of hours. I won't share everything with you, but here's one.
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child,
Sometimes I feel like a favored queen.
Sometimes my throat is choked with tears,
Sometimes my heart compels me to sing.
Sometimes I can’t take one more step,
Sometimes I laugh as I run.
Sometimes the weight is too much to bear,
Sometimes I lift for another their burden.
Sometimes I cannot see through the mist,
Sometimes the world is all too clear.
Sometimes my prayers bounce back from the ceiling,
Sometimes I know that my God can hear.
Sometimes it seems the silence is deafening,
Sometimes the music soothes my soul.
Sometimes the loneliness is shattering,
Sometimes I know I’m never alone.
Sometimes I cower with fear at my shadow,
Sometimes I’m courageous and fierce.
Sometimes I pretend and I put on a show,
Sometimes I’m genuine and sincere.
Sometimes the pain just doesn’t seem worth it,
But I remember the Love and I know that He is.
Once in a while I learn from mistakes,
Be they my own, or somebody else’s.
Once in a while I have what it takes:
The humility to admit I don’t have it.
So yeah... there it is. Take it for what you will.
Dreams are odd things, & this time I'm talking about the kind invented by the waking conscious, not the sleep-dreams. They seem so frail & whispy, sometimes they have hardly any substance at all. But when the time comes to put them away they can be so tenacious, hanging on to the imagination with a grasp that feels like strong jaws closing on the throat. What to do with them then?
Like I know. Ignore them, & hope they'll die from inattention? Does that every actually work? I'm not sure, it seems that common sense tries to starve the dream with one hand, but hope keeps feeding it with the other hile I'm not looking.
Ah dreams, such bliss in agony divine. I suppose the best thing to do with them, as with everything else, is to give them to the One who really knows what He's doing.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Austin, MN
That's where I am now...
Dreams are odd things, y'know? I had two of them the other night & they've been sticking with me ever since, so I think I should write about them... to get them to stop nagging me, if nothing else.
Mind you, I can't remember everything clearly, dreams are like that. What was rich in detail whilst I dreamt it has now faded to merely the major events. What made perfect sense in the dreamscape has lost some of the details that made it make sense & may now seem rather... well, nonsensical.
But anyway, I'll try my best to be a faithful descriptor, & let the rest be what it can.
In the first dream I had been given a task by a rather large man. He had a beer gut, & everything that stereotypically goes with it. He was nasty, smelly, and generally gives off that not-a-nice-person vibe. The task he had given me was to capture a smallish snake that was roaming free & place it into a cage he provided. Now, when I say smallish, I mean it was about the size of my forearm, and proportionately slender.
Easy, yeah?
The barest touch of this snake's fangs was death.
Did I mention that it's fangs were always out, and they were very, very long?
Right.
So I'm trying to catch this thing without actually touching it, because touching it means getting bit & I seem to have forgotten that I was dreaming (which was odd too, but whatever). One of my guyfriends was in the room trying to help--but I can't quite remember which one... The aggravating thing was that every time I almost had it caught, something would happen & it would get loose again. The really aggravating thing was that it was always the beer-gut guy's fault. I would get it caught under a bowl, only to have that bowl overturned when beer-gut bumped into the table it was on. I had it trapped in the cage & the cage door was blockaded shut by some heavy books; beergut bumped the books over. (I was trying to figure out how to shut the cage without getting bit, as the snake seemed intent on biting whatever part of the cage my fingers went near--did I mention how huge those fangs were?) You get the idea. Oddly enough, beergut only ever was in the room when the snake was almost captured.
Then I was bit.
Have you ever died in a dream before? Yeah, me either. When I was little, if I didn't like the dream I was having, I put myself in mortal danger (jump off a cliff, or a balcony, throw myself into a line of gunfire, etc.) to wake myself up, and it worked every time. A bit more extreme than pinching myself, but hey, it worked. I heard later that if you die in a dream, you die while your sleeping, because the mind is tricked into believing it's dead so it really dies... but I don't really think that's scientifically testable... but I digress.
So I'm bit, and my guyfriend thinks I'm dying, & beergut kicks us out of his place because he doesn't want us dying at his place, & I think we were being chased by something... But anyway, we wound up on a train. As we were getting to the train I was in more & more pain, I ws getting colder around the edges, and it was getting harder & harder to move. But there came a point when all of that started going away & I knew I wasn't dying anymore. Personally, I think I got distracted by the friends we found on the train & forgot I was supposed to be dying, so I stopped...
Then I looked out the window of the train & saw the snake, flying in the distance. It had grown to a huge size & was flying by magic, like a Chinese dragon. And I knew (somehow, like it happens in dreams), that beergut hadn't been the one who needed the snake captured--and killed--it was everyone. and I still needed to capture it, whether beergut provided the cage or no, otherwise it would kill everyone.
Then came the next one...
It was weird, because I was dreaming a parable... It took place at a farmhouse, in winter (there was snow on the ground), but the story I was being told was about something that had happened in the fall. I had wandered away from the farmhouse and found this strange little puppet theatre where all the puppets were brownies. But when they told be the story I saw the story, not the brownies (& I mean the food kind, not the fey).
The story they told was about a group of four friends who had been staying at the farmhouse in the fall. All was sunshine and happiness until the insurance salesman came. He was evil, and wanted to do something terrible, but knew that before he would be able to he must first divide the four friends. So he gave them each a shirt, saying that if they wanted his insurance all they had to do was wear the shirt he gave them. To three he gave t-shirts, each was a different color & each had a different style of neck. To the fourth he tried to give a t-shirt, but they refused. It was getting cold outside, and a sweater was really more sensible. This did not please the salesman, but he could not persuade the fourth, so in a rage, he gave it up. Then he left, to watch what happened.
At first, all was well. Then the cruel nature of the three was exposed; the three with the t-shirts began tormenting the one with the sweater. Sweater was still trying to be friendly, as before, but the three would have none of it. Little things, at first, name-calling & the like. Then it escalated, until the salesman had enough power that he came when sweater was trying to run away from the three into the house--when sweater reached the door, the one was devoured.
The three that remained were shocked, but not enough to leave the house. They remained outside, not daring to enter, but not wishing to leave, sniping at each other now, comparing colors & styles, never acknowledging their true enemy.
After the story, I pondered over the meaning while thoughtfully biting the head off of one of the brownie puppets.
Then I realized that my family (my dream family) were the heirs of this parable--this farmhouse we camped outside at this very moment was the one from the story, the insurance salesman in the story was the same monster that created such fear & hatred in my people! In a righteous anger, knowing the truth of the situation, I ran back to the farmhouse and the people who huddled around fires outside of it. I tried to convince them of the sanity of abondoning their code of t-shirts to put on some sweaters, then--I could feel myself freezing like I hadn't been able to before the parable--in desperation to be warm, I tried to get into the farmhouse.
I stood on the doorstep, and opened the door. A fierce roaring filled my ears, panic and fear swirled in my mind, I was about to die, then--
I woke up.
There, maybe now the itch to write this will leave me alone. I make no attempt to read these dreams, merely taking them for the usual random attempts of my subconscious to amuse itself while not otherwise occupied. But they might make for entertaining stories, if you're in the mood.
Dreams are odd things, y'know? I had two of them the other night & they've been sticking with me ever since, so I think I should write about them... to get them to stop nagging me, if nothing else.
Mind you, I can't remember everything clearly, dreams are like that. What was rich in detail whilst I dreamt it has now faded to merely the major events. What made perfect sense in the dreamscape has lost some of the details that made it make sense & may now seem rather... well, nonsensical.
But anyway, I'll try my best to be a faithful descriptor, & let the rest be what it can.
In the first dream I had been given a task by a rather large man. He had a beer gut, & everything that stereotypically goes with it. He was nasty, smelly, and generally gives off that not-a-nice-person vibe. The task he had given me was to capture a smallish snake that was roaming free & place it into a cage he provided. Now, when I say smallish, I mean it was about the size of my forearm, and proportionately slender.
Easy, yeah?
The barest touch of this snake's fangs was death.
Did I mention that it's fangs were always out, and they were very, very long?
Right.
So I'm trying to catch this thing without actually touching it, because touching it means getting bit & I seem to have forgotten that I was dreaming (which was odd too, but whatever). One of my guyfriends was in the room trying to help--but I can't quite remember which one... The aggravating thing was that every time I almost had it caught, something would happen & it would get loose again. The really aggravating thing was that it was always the beer-gut guy's fault. I would get it caught under a bowl, only to have that bowl overturned when beer-gut bumped into the table it was on. I had it trapped in the cage & the cage door was blockaded shut by some heavy books; beergut bumped the books over. (I was trying to figure out how to shut the cage without getting bit, as the snake seemed intent on biting whatever part of the cage my fingers went near--did I mention how huge those fangs were?) You get the idea. Oddly enough, beergut only ever was in the room when the snake was almost captured.
Then I was bit.
Have you ever died in a dream before? Yeah, me either. When I was little, if I didn't like the dream I was having, I put myself in mortal danger (jump off a cliff, or a balcony, throw myself into a line of gunfire, etc.) to wake myself up, and it worked every time. A bit more extreme than pinching myself, but hey, it worked. I heard later that if you die in a dream, you die while your sleeping, because the mind is tricked into believing it's dead so it really dies... but I don't really think that's scientifically testable... but I digress.
So I'm bit, and my guyfriend thinks I'm dying, & beergut kicks us out of his place because he doesn't want us dying at his place, & I think we were being chased by something... But anyway, we wound up on a train. As we were getting to the train I was in more & more pain, I ws getting colder around the edges, and it was getting harder & harder to move. But there came a point when all of that started going away & I knew I wasn't dying anymore. Personally, I think I got distracted by the friends we found on the train & forgot I was supposed to be dying, so I stopped...
Then I looked out the window of the train & saw the snake, flying in the distance. It had grown to a huge size & was flying by magic, like a Chinese dragon. And I knew (somehow, like it happens in dreams), that beergut hadn't been the one who needed the snake captured--and killed--it was everyone. and I still needed to capture it, whether beergut provided the cage or no, otherwise it would kill everyone.
Then came the next one...
It was weird, because I was dreaming a parable... It took place at a farmhouse, in winter (there was snow on the ground), but the story I was being told was about something that had happened in the fall. I had wandered away from the farmhouse and found this strange little puppet theatre where all the puppets were brownies. But when they told be the story I saw the story, not the brownies (& I mean the food kind, not the fey).
The story they told was about a group of four friends who had been staying at the farmhouse in the fall. All was sunshine and happiness until the insurance salesman came. He was evil, and wanted to do something terrible, but knew that before he would be able to he must first divide the four friends. So he gave them each a shirt, saying that if they wanted his insurance all they had to do was wear the shirt he gave them. To three he gave t-shirts, each was a different color & each had a different style of neck. To the fourth he tried to give a t-shirt, but they refused. It was getting cold outside, and a sweater was really more sensible. This did not please the salesman, but he could not persuade the fourth, so in a rage, he gave it up. Then he left, to watch what happened.
At first, all was well. Then the cruel nature of the three was exposed; the three with the t-shirts began tormenting the one with the sweater. Sweater was still trying to be friendly, as before, but the three would have none of it. Little things, at first, name-calling & the like. Then it escalated, until the salesman had enough power that he came when sweater was trying to run away from the three into the house--when sweater reached the door, the one was devoured.
The three that remained were shocked, but not enough to leave the house. They remained outside, not daring to enter, but not wishing to leave, sniping at each other now, comparing colors & styles, never acknowledging their true enemy.
After the story, I pondered over the meaning while thoughtfully biting the head off of one of the brownie puppets.
Then I realized that my family (my dream family) were the heirs of this parable--this farmhouse we camped outside at this very moment was the one from the story, the insurance salesman in the story was the same monster that created such fear & hatred in my people! In a righteous anger, knowing the truth of the situation, I ran back to the farmhouse and the people who huddled around fires outside of it. I tried to convince them of the sanity of abondoning their code of t-shirts to put on some sweaters, then--I could feel myself freezing like I hadn't been able to before the parable--in desperation to be warm, I tried to get into the farmhouse.
I stood on the doorstep, and opened the door. A fierce roaring filled my ears, panic and fear swirled in my mind, I was about to die, then--
I woke up.
There, maybe now the itch to write this will leave me alone. I make no attempt to read these dreams, merely taking them for the usual random attempts of my subconscious to amuse itself while not otherwise occupied. But they might make for entertaining stories, if you're in the mood.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Holy Cow, is it Really Only 6:22?!?!
Why yes, yes it is. The computer clock does not lie!
I'm in shivery Minnesota at the moment, & it's rainy--cold & rainy. :P I suppose that & my 8yr old cousin running downstairs & needing to be chased back up them might account for my lapse in time awareness. It really felt much later!
So anyhoo... Indiana was wonderful, but already feels too far gone. Ah well, that just means I'll have to go back sometime soon. :)
Blow-by-blow, as I remember, went something like the following...
I drove up Wednesday morning, a bit before 11am Chicago time (this is important as IL & IN are in two different time zones). The drive was relatively uneventful, I didn't get lost, didn't break down, & only stalled out twice--both times at the place where the toll is paid. I arrived at R. & L.'s home that afternoon, before dinner--don't ask, it was wonderful but I can't remember what it was. I was too busy drinking in the loveliness of the ladies themselves. ;) After dinner we went to Bethel campus where--because of Spiritual Emphasis week--chapel was happening! We took E. with us, because she arrived at the house shortly before we left--but we played a quick game of sardines before we left.
Still with me? :D So at chapel I was received with much merriment & joy, my heart was full to overflowing at the reception given to me by these friends closer then family. I sat with my SOPHOMORES (formerly my freshmen, but Z. took issue with being called that this year, so I compromised. They're still mine, but they are allowed to have progressed beyond the year I found them in.), and got several hugs from them throughout the night--particularly Z. & H., my little (but taller) brother & my protege respectively.
After chapel I ran down to see PastorReverendD.Sir & his wife L., dragging H. along with me. Prof. D., PastorD's brother, was also there, and we had a nice long visit. HostessL. & E. joined us later, & eventually dragged me off home to sleep.
Are the letters confusing you yet? :D
Thursday, what did I do Thursday... Oh yes! I arrived on campus at 9:30am to attend the Acting II class (Z. told me the night before that they were doing Shakespearean monologues, knowing my love for the Bard full well), where I realized my ignorance by taking a quiz with the students. Different profs, different material--I never did know much about Stanislavsky, we studied Meisner in my Acting II class. Anyhoo, the monologues were very interesting to watch, I learned a lot & was impressed at the talent in the group.
11am was chapel, which I attended--after a fashion. I decided to pop into the sound booth to say hello to DN, but he wasn't there. Instead I was met by screams & dancing by W., so we attacked each other in hugs, then I left her to settle down while I said hello to DN. He was his usual stoic & sarcastic self, as I fully expected & was happy to find unchanged. I spent the rest of chapel in the booth with W. & DN., we listened, joked, and admired the ASL interpreter's madd skills of interpreting two "rap artists" at work. She was absolutely amazing, and completely hilarious. If you missed that chapel, or if you missed watching her, you missed out.
After chapel I went to the Directing II class, where I got to sit in on some discussions & the casting of their next batch of shows. That's right, I knew who was cast before the cast did! :D Then, somehow, I ended up in Senior Seminar, where I got to hear the seniors pour out their life's agony, plans, dreams, and trials. No worries though, I'll never tell.
Oh yeah, there was a brief lunch somewhere in there too... between chapel & Directing class I think...
After Senior Seminar I think I went back to R&L's "bed & breakfast"... R&L's B&B :) L& I created some amazing hash out of scrambled eggs & whatever leftovers out of the fridge seemed appealing. We tried to chase R. out of the kitchen--she was feeling sick, but was loathe to admit it--but she ended up back every time, eventually we talked her into sitting on the freezer in the corner & laughing at our antics. So we ate eggs, then a crowd of people showed up to watch "Serenity"--which is a fantastic movie, ending a wonderful series, no I'm not getting paid to say that, but I really think you should watch them if you haven't. Let's see, who came, there was S., J., R., L., B., and me, & I think that's all? Yes, that looks like all. Wow, I thought there were more, but I suppose not. Anyhoo, we watched the movie, then just chilled for a bit, then everyone went home. We went to bed, since R. Wasn't feeling well, but I think we read a bit first...
Friday! On Friday I got up, said goodbye to L.--she was going home for the weekend to see her family--then made tracks for WB's office, to make sure we were still having coffee. We were, so while all the students headed for chapel, my former voice instructor & I went to Stone's Donuts, where they make the best donuts I've ever had. (Yes, that was a freebie too.) I had an Arizona sweet tea & cherry turnover (incidentally, I'm pretty sure I accidentally left the tea & a Pepsi in R&L's fridge when I left... oops...darn!), he had a coffee & bismarck, & we both enjoyed a delightful visit. The first half hour was spent chatting about bikes--WB's new hobby/lifestyle--and the second half was a very helpful crash course in the use of contacts in attempting to find a job. I can hardly wait to get home to get started on what we talked about, hope is a lot easier to have when there's a tangible goal in mind!
After "coffee" with WB I went back to Sufficient Grounds to meet with V, & found her there chatting with DN about the show she's directing. From there V & I went to Trade Winds for lunch where was had another fantastic 2 hours, reminiscing, catching up, and generally picking up where we had left off.
After lunch with V I was kind of at loose ends, so I meandered onto campus with some vague misty notion of finding people, maybe finding interwebs, and I did! Find people, that is. I spent most of the rest of the afternoon just chillin' by the pond outside the FA with people--mainly S.E. & SK. W happened by once or twice, & I creepered the choir students to get some laughs & hellos, but eventually I ended up inside.
Dinner was had at Sufficient, where I tasted hummus once more--& more importantly ate with B., G., S., A., W., then chilled with B. after everyone else left for either rehearsal or other pre-arranged meetings. B & I waited there until 7ish when I discovered that my appointment was not going to come, then we proceeded to S.'s house where was happening...
SYFY FRIDAY! :) I am a total geek, I know, but it was fun! I hardly followed the SG-1 episodes we watched, and only stayed for a smidge of the ... Sanctuary episode, but I had a blast. M., F., S., & B. were there, there was candy abounding (including Dark Chocolate M&Ms, very important to people with dairy allergies... like me...) which I proceeded to sneakily redistribute around the room while NO ONE noticed... ;) ;)
After watching sci-fi, I went back to R&LsB&B, where I got to see R before we went to bed.
Saturday I ran onto campus really quick at 10am to meet with the photographer who had done pictures for my senior show last semester. He had the CDs ready for me--and at a very nicely discounted rate (which was only just, considering the time I'd waited & the run-around I'd been through just to get him to get them done). We made the exchange, pics for moneys, and I went on my way rejoicing. I tried to run into a couple of people to pass them out to, but only succeeded in finding F., my light designer.
After this rendezvous, I ran back to R&Ls, where I had promised the lunchtime to R. We had a grand time experimenting on egg plant, grilling sans supervision for the first time, making bruschetta--she makes amazing bruschetta, btw!--and adventuring through the blueberries praying for sweet ones. I love just being around that gal, she makes my heart full of sunshine.
After lunch I had kind of intended to go back to campus, but realized I didn't know what I'd do if I did, so I stayed at the B&B with R., & she introduced me to Avatar/Airbender, and I introduced her to Gir from Invader Zim. When the afternoon drew to a close we changed into our wedding attire & ventured forth!
To dinner at L&B's, where they had a lovely spaghetti dinner getting ready for the four of us. We had fun hanging out in the kitchen helping with dinner-more eggplant, incidentally, it was decided that day that none of us really knew how to cook it... Dinner was wonderful, then I was off to pick up MM, who was riding with me to the wedding reception of L&J, the whole reason for the trip in the first place. :)
The reception was lovely, the people were wonderful, and the bride & groom were as darling as can be.
Afterwards, a group of us went to Steak&Shake. To understand this you must know that there were four of us in my sophomore year who were in several classes together, including playwrighting. One of our favorite haunts for all-nighters, stress-relievers, & homeworking was Steak&Shake. Now, whenever the four of us are together in town, we must needs celebrate at Steak&Shake. So, after farewelling the bride & groom, away we went!
And what a night was had! It's nights like that one that make me wonder, if I'm that uninhibited when I'm stone-cold sober, what would I be like with a few drinks in me? Yikes... :)
The party wound up around 1:30ish, & we all went our separate ways.
Sunday morning I awoke, said a quick g'bye to R., who was off to a prior engagement, then away to College Park Church! B & W. were there too, so we had a merry back row again during the service (question: why is it called a "service"? Who does it serve, & who is serving? Just a random thought...). Afterwards, we all went to Grandma & Grandpa's house, where there were more people than I think I have ever seen there before.
Mind you, these two dear people are not my "real" Grandma & Grandpa, but they adopted me--along with several other college students--my junior year. They make a full-time ministry out of opening their homes, hearts, wallets, kitchen, and everything else they have to give, to the college waifs that come drifting into their church. They are largely responsible for my being able to communicate as well as I do with my "real" grandparents, because they showed me what that relationship is supposed to, & can, look like. The love these two have for complete strangers, it is awe-inspiring.
So, we had dinner--made in Grandma's kitchen by her & her girls. I got to sit in the dining room with BS (really those ARE his initials, I'm not just calling him names!) & the grown-ups, & I got to have some very good conversation & visiting with Grandma & Grandpa.
After this, I went to C's house to spend time with all my ZinZinDorf gals. Sorry all, what happens in ZZD, stays there. Suffice to say we laughed a lot & C's baby is absolutely adorable! :D
Then I ran away to get some ducks out of a vending machine with B, W, & G--after which I passed out the last of the picture CDs--and then I ran over to see J & V one more time before we all left. Then I ran to see PastorD & L--they were both sick by this time, and wouldn't be at the usual meeting, & I couldn't stand to leave without saying goodbye. Then I ran (sensing a pattern yet? Lots of running happening...) to the Gathering (my college-ageish small group). Since PastorD, our usual leader, was fallen ill, BS led us in prayer. However, there was no one with voice who could play piano, so instead of worshipping through song we worshipped via playing. :)
It was actually pretty funny... everyone was sitting around, agreeing that we ought to do something, but no one quite wanted to get up and start anything. I leaned over to R. & said "let's just start improving a scene, and see what happens". She agreed, so up we leapt, asked S. for a scenario, and proceeded to begin a rollicking game of Freeze. We played until 9pm, when I leapt into a scene and told R. "I'm sorry, but it's 9pm, and I have to go". She went on to tell me that I was about to turn into a swan, then a water buffalo, but if I could endure this for a couple hours the curse would be lifted & I would be human again.
Needless to say, I didn't find much sweetness in the sorrow of this parting.
Away I drove into the darkness, and I've been writing for an hour, so I think this is as good a place as any to say "the end" of this tale.
Guten Nocht!
I'm in shivery Minnesota at the moment, & it's rainy--cold & rainy. :P I suppose that & my 8yr old cousin running downstairs & needing to be chased back up them might account for my lapse in time awareness. It really felt much later!
So anyhoo... Indiana was wonderful, but already feels too far gone. Ah well, that just means I'll have to go back sometime soon. :)
Blow-by-blow, as I remember, went something like the following...
I drove up Wednesday morning, a bit before 11am Chicago time (this is important as IL & IN are in two different time zones). The drive was relatively uneventful, I didn't get lost, didn't break down, & only stalled out twice--both times at the place where the toll is paid. I arrived at R. & L.'s home that afternoon, before dinner--don't ask, it was wonderful but I can't remember what it was. I was too busy drinking in the loveliness of the ladies themselves. ;) After dinner we went to Bethel campus where--because of Spiritual Emphasis week--chapel was happening! We took E. with us, because she arrived at the house shortly before we left--but we played a quick game of sardines before we left.
Still with me? :D So at chapel I was received with much merriment & joy, my heart was full to overflowing at the reception given to me by these friends closer then family. I sat with my SOPHOMORES (formerly my freshmen, but Z. took issue with being called that this year, so I compromised. They're still mine, but they are allowed to have progressed beyond the year I found them in.), and got several hugs from them throughout the night--particularly Z. & H., my little (but taller) brother & my protege respectively.
After chapel I ran down to see PastorReverendD.Sir & his wife L., dragging H. along with me. Prof. D., PastorD's brother, was also there, and we had a nice long visit. HostessL. & E. joined us later, & eventually dragged me off home to sleep.
Are the letters confusing you yet? :D
Thursday, what did I do Thursday... Oh yes! I arrived on campus at 9:30am to attend the Acting II class (Z. told me the night before that they were doing Shakespearean monologues, knowing my love for the Bard full well), where I realized my ignorance by taking a quiz with the students. Different profs, different material--I never did know much about Stanislavsky, we studied Meisner in my Acting II class. Anyhoo, the monologues were very interesting to watch, I learned a lot & was impressed at the talent in the group.
11am was chapel, which I attended--after a fashion. I decided to pop into the sound booth to say hello to DN, but he wasn't there. Instead I was met by screams & dancing by W., so we attacked each other in hugs, then I left her to settle down while I said hello to DN. He was his usual stoic & sarcastic self, as I fully expected & was happy to find unchanged. I spent the rest of chapel in the booth with W. & DN., we listened, joked, and admired the ASL interpreter's madd skills of interpreting two "rap artists" at work. She was absolutely amazing, and completely hilarious. If you missed that chapel, or if you missed watching her, you missed out.
After chapel I went to the Directing II class, where I got to sit in on some discussions & the casting of their next batch of shows. That's right, I knew who was cast before the cast did! :D Then, somehow, I ended up in Senior Seminar, where I got to hear the seniors pour out their life's agony, plans, dreams, and trials. No worries though, I'll never tell.
Oh yeah, there was a brief lunch somewhere in there too... between chapel & Directing class I think...
After Senior Seminar I think I went back to R&L's "bed & breakfast"... R&L's B&B :) L& I created some amazing hash out of scrambled eggs & whatever leftovers out of the fridge seemed appealing. We tried to chase R. out of the kitchen--she was feeling sick, but was loathe to admit it--but she ended up back every time, eventually we talked her into sitting on the freezer in the corner & laughing at our antics. So we ate eggs, then a crowd of people showed up to watch "Serenity"--which is a fantastic movie, ending a wonderful series, no I'm not getting paid to say that, but I really think you should watch them if you haven't. Let's see, who came, there was S., J., R., L., B., and me, & I think that's all? Yes, that looks like all. Wow, I thought there were more, but I suppose not. Anyhoo, we watched the movie, then just chilled for a bit, then everyone went home. We went to bed, since R. Wasn't feeling well, but I think we read a bit first...
Friday! On Friday I got up, said goodbye to L.--she was going home for the weekend to see her family--then made tracks for WB's office, to make sure we were still having coffee. We were, so while all the students headed for chapel, my former voice instructor & I went to Stone's Donuts, where they make the best donuts I've ever had. (Yes, that was a freebie too.) I had an Arizona sweet tea & cherry turnover (incidentally, I'm pretty sure I accidentally left the tea & a Pepsi in R&L's fridge when I left... oops...darn!), he had a coffee & bismarck, & we both enjoyed a delightful visit. The first half hour was spent chatting about bikes--WB's new hobby/lifestyle--and the second half was a very helpful crash course in the use of contacts in attempting to find a job. I can hardly wait to get home to get started on what we talked about, hope is a lot easier to have when there's a tangible goal in mind!
After "coffee" with WB I went back to Sufficient Grounds to meet with V, & found her there chatting with DN about the show she's directing. From there V & I went to Trade Winds for lunch where was had another fantastic 2 hours, reminiscing, catching up, and generally picking up where we had left off.
After lunch with V I was kind of at loose ends, so I meandered onto campus with some vague misty notion of finding people, maybe finding interwebs, and I did! Find people, that is. I spent most of the rest of the afternoon just chillin' by the pond outside the FA with people--mainly S.E. & SK. W happened by once or twice, & I creepered the choir students to get some laughs & hellos, but eventually I ended up inside.
Dinner was had at Sufficient, where I tasted hummus once more--& more importantly ate with B., G., S., A., W., then chilled with B. after everyone else left for either rehearsal or other pre-arranged meetings. B & I waited there until 7ish when I discovered that my appointment was not going to come, then we proceeded to S.'s house where was happening...
SYFY FRIDAY! :) I am a total geek, I know, but it was fun! I hardly followed the SG-1 episodes we watched, and only stayed for a smidge of the ... Sanctuary episode, but I had a blast. M., F., S., & B. were there, there was candy abounding (including Dark Chocolate M&Ms, very important to people with dairy allergies... like me...) which I proceeded to sneakily redistribute around the room while NO ONE noticed... ;) ;)
After watching sci-fi, I went back to R&LsB&B, where I got to see R before we went to bed.
Saturday I ran onto campus really quick at 10am to meet with the photographer who had done pictures for my senior show last semester. He had the CDs ready for me--and at a very nicely discounted rate (which was only just, considering the time I'd waited & the run-around I'd been through just to get him to get them done). We made the exchange, pics for moneys, and I went on my way rejoicing. I tried to run into a couple of people to pass them out to, but only succeeded in finding F., my light designer.
After this rendezvous, I ran back to R&Ls, where I had promised the lunchtime to R. We had a grand time experimenting on egg plant, grilling sans supervision for the first time, making bruschetta--she makes amazing bruschetta, btw!--and adventuring through the blueberries praying for sweet ones. I love just being around that gal, she makes my heart full of sunshine.
After lunch I had kind of intended to go back to campus, but realized I didn't know what I'd do if I did, so I stayed at the B&B with R., & she introduced me to Avatar/Airbender, and I introduced her to Gir from Invader Zim. When the afternoon drew to a close we changed into our wedding attire & ventured forth!
To dinner at L&B's, where they had a lovely spaghetti dinner getting ready for the four of us. We had fun hanging out in the kitchen helping with dinner-more eggplant, incidentally, it was decided that day that none of us really knew how to cook it... Dinner was wonderful, then I was off to pick up MM, who was riding with me to the wedding reception of L&J, the whole reason for the trip in the first place. :)
The reception was lovely, the people were wonderful, and the bride & groom were as darling as can be.
Afterwards, a group of us went to Steak&Shake. To understand this you must know that there were four of us in my sophomore year who were in several classes together, including playwrighting. One of our favorite haunts for all-nighters, stress-relievers, & homeworking was Steak&Shake. Now, whenever the four of us are together in town, we must needs celebrate at Steak&Shake. So, after farewelling the bride & groom, away we went!
And what a night was had! It's nights like that one that make me wonder, if I'm that uninhibited when I'm stone-cold sober, what would I be like with a few drinks in me? Yikes... :)
The party wound up around 1:30ish, & we all went our separate ways.
Sunday morning I awoke, said a quick g'bye to R., who was off to a prior engagement, then away to College Park Church! B & W. were there too, so we had a merry back row again during the service (question: why is it called a "service"? Who does it serve, & who is serving? Just a random thought...). Afterwards, we all went to Grandma & Grandpa's house, where there were more people than I think I have ever seen there before.
Mind you, these two dear people are not my "real" Grandma & Grandpa, but they adopted me--along with several other college students--my junior year. They make a full-time ministry out of opening their homes, hearts, wallets, kitchen, and everything else they have to give, to the college waifs that come drifting into their church. They are largely responsible for my being able to communicate as well as I do with my "real" grandparents, because they showed me what that relationship is supposed to, & can, look like. The love these two have for complete strangers, it is awe-inspiring.
So, we had dinner--made in Grandma's kitchen by her & her girls. I got to sit in the dining room with BS (really those ARE his initials, I'm not just calling him names!) & the grown-ups, & I got to have some very good conversation & visiting with Grandma & Grandpa.
After this, I went to C's house to spend time with all my ZinZinDorf gals. Sorry all, what happens in ZZD, stays there. Suffice to say we laughed a lot & C's baby is absolutely adorable! :D
Then I ran away to get some ducks out of a vending machine with B, W, & G--after which I passed out the last of the picture CDs--and then I ran over to see J & V one more time before we all left. Then I ran to see PastorD & L--they were both sick by this time, and wouldn't be at the usual meeting, & I couldn't stand to leave without saying goodbye. Then I ran (sensing a pattern yet? Lots of running happening...) to the Gathering (my college-ageish small group). Since PastorD, our usual leader, was fallen ill, BS led us in prayer. However, there was no one with voice who could play piano, so instead of worshipping through song we worshipped via playing. :)
It was actually pretty funny... everyone was sitting around, agreeing that we ought to do something, but no one quite wanted to get up and start anything. I leaned over to R. & said "let's just start improving a scene, and see what happens". She agreed, so up we leapt, asked S. for a scenario, and proceeded to begin a rollicking game of Freeze. We played until 9pm, when I leapt into a scene and told R. "I'm sorry, but it's 9pm, and I have to go". She went on to tell me that I was about to turn into a swan, then a water buffalo, but if I could endure this for a couple hours the curse would be lifted & I would be human again.
Needless to say, I didn't find much sweetness in the sorrow of this parting.
Away I drove into the darkness, and I've been writing for an hour, so I think this is as good a place as any to say "the end" of this tale.
Guten Nocht!
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