Decisions!! Woot!!!

So, yeah... I came across a huge decision on Sunday that I thought I would need to have made by Monday afternoon... Thankfully I didn't, but it was pretty frightening there for a bit. Many tears were shed & much stress endured.

I didn't realize it, but I only actually need 11.5 more credit hours to graduate. Considering I have to take 12 to be considered a "full-time student", this really meant I could potentially graduate a whole semester ahead of schedule. Good thing? Not so good thing? I don't know yet... I've been weighing my options, and so far come to the conclusion that--I don't know.

Happily, my adviser & I were able to work out a temporary solution that gives me a bit more time to pray and think about this. I'm registered for classes next fall & will be taking all the classes I need to graduate this December. However, I have not yet turned in my application for graduation--which is right now filled out as though I would be taking all electives in the Spring. I can keep the application, and change how it's filled out if need be, and turn it in when I make a decision.


What will that decision be though? I think I want to stay for that extra semester... but really it all boils down to this: what does God want me to do? That's really what my life is about anyway, if He wills it, I want to do it--whatever that may be. But He has not yet chosen to make me aware of this bit of the plan.

So for now, I wait, and pray. More to come on this later, I'm sure. :)

More Ramblings Late at Night... er... Early in the Morning

This has the feel of something that could develop into a habit... Coming home after rehearsal & unwinding with the blog... hmm...

It's an interesting thing, this "blog"... I sit myself down at a computer screen with no other intent than to share my thoughts, my inmost process, with anyone who chances by. How often would I usually do this? In everyday life, when would this happen?

But, what would the word be like if it did? What if, instead of wearing masks with each other, of showing other people the person I think they want to see, what if I were to turn to each person that walked by & offer an untainted bit of my soul? If I were to show each person I encounter my true heart of hearts? How different would my daily interaction be!

Maybe that is what it looks like, to truly Love others--that fearless offering of oneself without regard to what might happen to that self that has been offered. After all, true Godly love is supposed to cast out all fear, it makes sense that it might be a bit reckless with its affection. Wasn't Christ? How much of Himself He exposed for the world to see--putting His heart on display. And not just through dying on the cross, but through His entire life, He was genuine in ways that surpass understanding. How can I live like that?

How can I not? Is it really to be deemed living if I don't? If I tiptoe through life, pretending to some identity that doesn't belong to me?

Not the kind of life I want. I want the Abundant Life brought about by Love! Somehow I think we Christians have misplaced the meanings of those two phenomena: Life and Love. We think that Life is something we have to endure until we make it through to the next world. But I don't think that's how we were meant to live...

God made this world too, didn't He?

Bedtime! :)