Apathy

Passion is contagious.
So is apathy.
The older I get, the more I realize the truth of the old caution: be careful who you surround yourself with.
It's not because of fear of "guilt by association", but fear of something much less obvious, far more... sinister.
The attitudes of those around me can very easily become my attitude.

Is this why Jesus was so vehement in His decrying of the Lukewarm church in Revelation?
Not only was this church neither cold nor hot, but their apathy was a poison that--left unchecked--could contaminate all the passion around them, the passion of new believers coming to this church would be soured and quenched.

Personally, I tend to be a bit... extreme... in the things I do. I like to throw myself whole-heartedly into life and all therein. But if I lose that excitement, then I swing very much the other direction & I become very difficult to motivate. I do nothing half-way, including apathy--which is why I hate it so much when I find it in myself.

Whenever I realize I've slid into that mentality again... It makes me so angry. Oddly enough, this is a good thing--it's usually when I finally get angry enough to act that the apathy gets burnt in a fire of outrage.

But there's always that stage before, when I am filled with this curious mix of apathy, simmering rage, and bitterness.
Or is that what bitterness is? Apathy and anger mixed with inaction--just stewing and roiling inside, poisoning every interaction and seeping into others? May I never linger long in that place!

I'd rather just get angry, do something, and move on.