Coffee...

I don't know if any of you have noticed, but one of the addictions I battle (or love, alternately...) is caffeine--especially in it's most luscious form: chocolate coffee.

Everynow (that was initially a typo, but I think I like that... I'll leave it that way for now & see what ya think...) and again I'll go through a stint of "Ohmygoodness, it can't be healthy to have this high a caffeine intake! I'm weaning myself off coffee for good!!!"

It usually lasts about a week. I'll slowly stop drinking multiple caffeinated beverages (Dr. Pepper... Mmmmmm...) a day, then I'll be down to one or two every other day, maybe I'll even make it down to a couple a week. Caffeine becomes more of a treat than a need, and I can (mostly) stay awake at work in the morning without such crutches.

Then it happens. I find a coffee shop & think "I'll only drink an occasional coffee drink, I'll mix it up with Italian Sodas & stuff like that too." Then I stay up late the night before an early morning at work and think "I had a hard time staying awake when I had enough sleep, I better grab a coffee!" But just a small cup, and--oops, too much sugar! My bad...

Next thing I know I'm back up to 2 drinks a day, and making plans to set up a coffee station in my own apartment!!! And--gasp!!--I'm not even feeling guilty about it!! I'm thinking "clever me, saving moneys by making coffee myself!"

Shame shame shame...

Ah well, I'll save the guilt for my next spree of self-deprivation. ;)

Speaking of coffee, I found the coolest disposable coffee cup today!! I actually broke and got a small coffee with breakfast instead of my usual mere (but tasty) orange juice (yes, the monologue above actually happened...), and the lid on the cup was awesome!! It had a slidy thing to close off the opening to the coffee-dispensing mouth hole thing... Yeah, it doesn't sound as cool when I try to write about it as it did upon discovery this morning (was it the sleeplessness talking? or the sugar? Probably...)... I'll hafta take a picture and show you all tomorrow. Also, the cup itself was rather more durable than your average styrofoam--those recycled cups are amazing!! I'm totally imitating my Dad & saving that cup to reuse in future... at least until I unpack enough to find my own travel mugs... (if you're wondering why that would irritate Dad, go read that word again... am I the only one who thinks those words look scary similar in this font?)

I intended to write about something other than coffee today, but for the life of me I'm having difficulty remembering what that was... :S Give me a bit, maybe I'll think of it again...

Oh yeah! Church last night! I promised a report on that!!

Yeah, it was frightening... Not to say that the church itself wasn't very nice (it was), friendly (I was greeted multiple times by many people), warm (delightfully), doctrinally sound (I think? The songs were pretty & fun to sing), and beautiful (the vaulted roof! the stained-glass windows! The GOBOS!! they had fraking GOBOS!!!!)... but... well, most importantly it didn't feel like home. If you've been in the position to have to find a new church before you probably know what I'm talking about, but this church simply didn't... Let's just say that it doesn't matter how "right" the church is, if God doesn't tap me on the shoulder when I sit down and say "this is where I want you dwelling", then it isn't the church home for me.

Also? There were soooo many babies...

Don't misunderstand me, small children can be delightful--but small children in that high a concentration? There were soooooooo many!!! Especially considering it was advertised as being a church that catered to college-age, singles, and young couples. My thought was "yeah, you cater all right!"

It reminded me of a book I read about the way the Church views singles groups... It's simply a means to an end...

I know I know I know, I'm not technically "single" anymore now that Boyfriend is in my life. I do still identify rather strongly with that group though--what with Boyfriend being several states away and all. Our relationship is delightful, but I am so not in the same stage of life as all those young mothers are... especially the ones with 5 kids under the age of 10...

I mean, heck, I may never get to that stage...

And those are the only people who spoke to me when I was at the church. I asked a young mother & her "brood" (the oldest of whom was the first to be born into the church) where it was okay to park, I was greeted upon entry by a young couple and their 4 adorable blond children, I was introduced to the movie-director's (for worship services) wife who's husband was coming with their two young children (and she had another on the way), I was introduced before the service to another young mom (she had to talk to the mom sitting beside me about the "Hot Mamas" meeting that may or may not be happening this Sunday...), and spoke after the service to another young mother who was involved with the house church & was going to learn to speak Chinese in Chicago (her kids were downstairs & she had to leave to pick them up). I was also shown the "fireside room" where the moms took their kids to settle down if they got too fussy during the service--it was very nicely furnished with a fireside, chairs, tables, a projector (for listening/viewing the service you were missing because of your offspring), and a corner screened off from view (yes, probably for breastfeeding mothers--I mean, for mothers breastfeeding their children... no, I didn't ask).

It's not like I didn't see plenty of people my own age, or single, or probably in college... I just didn't actually get to talk to any of them. I'm not sure if it was because none of them noticed a new person (I find that hard to believe, considering I was alone just wandering around for some time and saw several of them...), or maybe they saw me get mobbed by the mothers & backed away slowly...

But, to their credit, the moms & dads were very nice and sociable. It just felt rather... strange... I felt very ... young isn't quite the word I'm looking for but it's close... Alien? Different? In a whole other sphere? :S It was strange realizing that I may actually not be that far in age from people with such utterly other life experiences... and then I realized that we weren't really that other.

Maybe it's the part of myself that still hasn't (and maybe never will) grown up... but I really don't feel like I could have children right now. I mean, obviously I could, but I don't think I would want to right now.

Bah, kids.

But yeah, the church was rather frightening.

I think I'm going to go post this now, before I ramble on more & come up with more strange nonsense... besides, I have laundry to do, dishes to wash, a painting corner to tidy, and boxes/tubs to unpack... So many things to do! :D I'm excited... ;)

Also, hello Mr. A. Lane R number 3. Yes, I know you're there, and I'm watching you. Behave yourself, and in a goodly fashion, or I will know. You know who you are. And if you don't, you're probably not who I'm talking to. But if you do, watch yourself. ... yeah ...