Oddities...

Random thought... I put "Gives you Hell" by All-American Rejects into Pandora, and ended up listening to "Firefly" by Owl City.

Not that I minded a lot, but I thought that was a bit strange...

Anyhoo. I find my thoughts a bit scattered at the moment, but pleasantly so. Everything is so very picturesque right now. I'm sitting on a bench under a tree next to the farmers' market while small-town folk meander through the street. There's a peace within that has been more constant than usual for the last few days, and I'm rather enjoying it. The battles waged daily for the purity of my mind have been successful for the past while, and overall things seem to just be going well.

It makes me slightly nervous, actually.

Life in general seems to have been going so well lately, is it because they really should be? Or is it more because I'm no threat to Satan, so he's leaving me alone? Am I becoming complacent? Have I lost something vital that should be happening?

It has been a long time since I prayed consistently.

I very recently finished "This Present Darkness", by Frank Perretti (sp?), and was again struck by the power the prayers of the saints have in the War of Souls. "The prayers of a righteous man availeth much".

What have mine been availing?

I'm afraid for the relationship my Father and I have. I fear it is not what it should be. Lately it's become more about doing, and far less about listening and asking. I talk about Him, but I rarely talk to Him.

It's irritating, really. How many times have I found myself here? Yet I still end up here. Wouldn't you think I would learn from this, sooner or later? I suppose I am still learning later rather than sooner.

Oh God, have mercy on me, a sinner! Teach me again and continually to crave You and Your presence more than anything and everything else. Make me content only in communion with You.

Interesting, how He works. Sometimes it is despair that drives me to my knees, crying out to Him for deliverance. Today it is the beauty, the peace that gently reminds me of Who has been with me and yearns (how strange!) for my attention.

I want to be someone the demons fear.

Paul, the apostle, was known by the demons, and they feared him. In the aforementioned book, Hank Busche was known to the high princes of the demons as "the praying man", and they wailed when he entered a room and prayed. I want that! I want to be a thorn in the side of the enemies of my God.

And the only way to accomplish that is to continually dwell in His presence, to be constantly filled with His Spirit. I am going to be possessed by someone or something, I am too weak and frail to hang on to my own soul--all humans are. I would rather be possessed by the Living God than by the prince of this world.

Well, I think that's enough random musings for today. Time to go write something! ;)